"Lexi!" Michele cried back when she spotted her best friend. Her luggage hit the floor in a series of thumps as she enclosed Lexi in a hug. Tears of happiness and belonging seeped from the corners of her eyes. "God, it's so good to see you."

"Aw, you, too," Alexis pulled away, swiping at her own tears. "I've missed you. You left me alone with all the boys and I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too," Michele grinned. "And speaking of the boys, where are they? I'm gonna need some help with all my junk."

"Well, I could only grab one of them," Lexi smiled. "But, I think he'll do." With that, Isaac stepped from behind Alexis, a wide grin on his face.

"Ike," Michele practically knocked him over with the intensity of her hug, her arms thrown haphazardly around his neck. "I missed you."

"Me, too," he smiled as Michele released him from her grip. "You look amazing. Tay and Zac are gonna be so happy to see you."

Michele's grin slightly faltered at the mention of their names. With all the hustle of getting off the plane and seeing Alexis, she'd managed to let them slip to the back of her mind. She'd been looking forward to being back in Tulsa, with all it's familiarity and all her friends. But the instant Zachary and Taylor entered the picture, she became awash with a sudden wave of anxiety. She knew, of course, that she'd eventually have to see them, and was for the most part looking forward to it. It was just the initial meeting that scared her. She didn't know if she could control her emotions, whatever they may be, once she laid eyes on them again, especially if they were together. And as Isaac moved to gather up her bags and Alexis took her hand and started talking animatedly as she led her out of the airport, Michele suddenly became sick with dread. Her head was spinning with memories she didn't want to remember right now and uncertainty at what might lie ahead. Not wanting to spoil Lexi's good mood, she forced a smile and joined in on her conversation, even though her stomach clenched with every step that led them closer to Isaac's truck.

"Where are those two anyway?" Michele asked quietly as they made their way out into the fresh Tulsa sunshine. One thing she couldn't deny was the warming effect this part of the country seemed to exude everywhere.

"They were busy with something or other at the house," Alexis said with a wave of her hand and Michele nodded mutely.

Alexis and Michele slipped into the Durrango as Isaac finished piling Chely's bags into the back. Michele stretched out in the comfortable leather seat, thankful for the respite from the cramped seats on the plane. Alexis was still talking nonstop, giving Michele the reader's digest version of everything that had happened while she'd been gone, Michele grinning the entire time.

"You girls ready?" Ike slid behind the wheel, buckling his seat belt while Chely and Lexi did the same before he started the engine and backed out of the parking lot. They drove most of the way in silence, Alexis and Isaac talking quietly in the front seat as Michele rested in the back. She closed her eyes and reveled in the relaxing motion of the truck as it sped along the highway, it's tires humming on the warm asphalt. She knit her brow, though, when she felt the truck slow down and veer off to the right. She wondered if perhaps she'd dozed off because she knew it was far too soon for them to be turning off the exit that would lead to her house.

"Isaac Hanson," Michele nearly yelled as she lifted her head from the seat, her eyes wide with realization. "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Just thought we'd stop by the house for a few minutes first," he shrugged innocently, but shared a sly grin with Alexis. "See what everyone's up to."

"Oh, *hell* no," Michele warned, but the truck continued it's westerly trek, moving Michele ever closer to the one moment she suddenly realized she was dreading more than anything she'd ever known. "Lexi.."

"It's just a little get-together, Chely," Alexis turned around slightly in the seat, a soothing look in her eyes. She'd picked up on Michele's uneasiness and felt a twinge of guilt for springing this on her. "Just a barbecue with the family. Not a big deal, right?"

Michele whimpered, biting her lower lip as her eyes pleaded desperately with Lexi's. She knew she was probably being childish, but she couldn't keep a knot of emotion from welling up in her throat. She willed the tears back as she sank back in the seat and turned her gaze to the scenery speeding past.

"You're not mad, are you?" The regret in Lexi's voice alone was enough to bring a thin line of tears from one eye.

"No," she half-smiled at her friend. "I'm just scared."

--

"Chely...are you okay?" Alexis' voice barely broke through the fear-induced haze Michele had let herself fall into once Isaac had pulled the Durrango into the Hanson's driveway. She'd felt a wave of nausea sweep through her the instant she'd seen Taylor's truck parked recklessly in the front yard. She vaguely noticed Lexi standing in the shadow of the open back door, peering strangely in at her. As she sat there, slightly disoriented and dizzy, a sudden fear gripped her: she'd certainly entertained the fact of falling flat on her ass and/or face at the first sight of Taylor or Zac, but with the added glances of a family of people, the notion seemed all the more sickening. It was probably an unrealistic fear, but a fear nonetheless, and it kept Michele from planting a foot outside the truck until she felt Lexi tugging on her arm.

"Don't worry, honey," Alexis whispered soothingly as they walked around the house where the rest of the family had apparently gathered. "Ike and I'll be right beside you if you need us."

Michele nodded and took a deep breath, sucking in all the courage and willpower she'd ever possessed, steeling herself for the two sets of eyes that rested somewhere on the opposite side of the white lattice fence. She felt like she was floating as they finally made it through the gate and the landscape of the backyard appeared before her. Zoe was the first Hanson she laid eyes on; she was chasing Mackie and a small golden retriever around the perimeter of the yard. Diana and Jessica were setting out dishes and utensils on a checked-tablecloth-covered table while Avery folded napkins. Walker was fussing over the grill, spearing a thick steak to check for it's doneness. The sense of family and home hit her hard, nearly knocking her over with it's perfection. She wanted so much to belong to his caring throng of people and the thought that she might be on the complete opposite end of that spectrum made her want to cry. But she wouldn't. She'd save the tears for later; save them for when she saw ...

....Taylor... and Zac. They came walking out of the house at the same moment; side by side and carrying equally full containers of a dish their mother had probably spent all morning making. Her breath caught in her throat as she watched them, their lithe forms crossing the backyard to the table Diana had set out. They were playfully elbowing each other as they walked and Michele smiled, grateful that they appeared to be getting along. They were both dressed in cargoes and t-shirts even though the weather was still a little cool, and she noticed with a grin that Zac had caught up to his brother in height.

"Come on," she'd forgotten Alexis was still at her side until she gently prodded at her elbow and took a few steps forward. Michele instinctively moved, not completely aware of what she was doing until they'd made it halfway across the yard. Taylor and Zac were still in front of her, their backs turned as they perused the food the Hanson women had laid out. So, the meeting hadn't been as earth-shattering as she'd predicted; she hadn't thudded to the ground at their feet and a not a single tear had managed to make it's way down her cheeks.

But then it happened: a playful shriek from Zoe across the yard caught the attention of her older brothers. They turned; first Taylor, then Zachary. Their eyes momentarily flitted to the far end of the yard, noting with a glance that Zoe wasn't hurt, and Michele's heart jumped into her throat when their gazes finally came to rest on her.

Her eyes shifted from the warm chocolate of Zac's to the steely blue of Taylor's before a wave of memories hit, swirling all around her, drowning her in their perfection before nearly knocking the breath from her as that night came rushing back...

Flashback...

Her gaze shifted from brother to brother, searching for some sort of understanding. They stood perfectly stoic, Taylor's frame slightly shivering from the cold as he wrapped his arms around his torso. She opened her mouth to speak, but it closed involuntarily when she saw Zac take a small step forward. Every step that brought him closer to the porch, brought a rise in Michele's pulse, a hitch to her breath and a fresh wave of tears to build behind her eyes. By the time he finally made it to the porch and planted himself within arm's reach, every emotion she owned was betraying her. All the cold, all the hurt, all the longing disappeared as his watery gaze met hers.

"Tay said you needed me."

Her heart stopped; she was sure of it. There was no way she could still be standing, still be breathing, after locking emotion-filled gazes with him and hearing those words, those perfect, tender, whispery words, those words that meant the world, escape his lips. She *did* need him. She needed his strong arms and his infectious laugh. She needed him to pick her daisies from Mrs. Peterson's back yard and make mushy ice cream sundaes in her kitchen; she needed him to stay up all night playing games on her lap top and draw her portraits with magic markers. She needed him to hold her when she cried over a ruined roll of film and she needed his tender lips in the crook of her neck when he pulled her close for a slow dance in the center of her living room. She needed him to be standing on her back porch, his chin shivering with emotion and cold and his eyes filled to the bursting point with tears. She needed him to be saying those words.

"I do," the words left her lips in a breath so quiet she wasn't sure he'd heard. But his arms were around her before the condensation from her voice had a chance to dissipate. He pressed her tightly against his chest, letting his hands tangle in her air as he clutched her desperately. Her arms circled his waist, his scent permeating every ounce of her as her tears soaked through his cold t-shirt. She couldn't control her heaving breath, couldn't stop the sobs from wracking her small frame. She had nothing to hold back for now: he was here and holding her so close, letting months worth of pent up tension and emotion drain from his body as his own tears cascaded down into her hair. Caught up in his strong confining embrace and letting his body take control over hers, she'd never felt more free.

She finally felt free; that realization alone was enough to bring a muffled smile to her lips. And she wanted him to know: to know that she felt completely unrestrained and uninhibited, free to pour out her every emotion at his feet, wanted him to know that she felt more like herself than she had in months. She tried to tear herself away, so she could look in eyes, but he kept her reigned tight against him, letting his body heat seep into her. They stood that way forever, or something that felt pretty damn close.

"Hey," Taylor's voice beside them finally lifted her head from his chest. "Let's go inside. It's fucking cold out here."

Michele laughed, a teeth-chattering, muted version of her typical one, but it made music to Taylor's ears and he grinned as her gaze met his. Zac couldn't help but laugh as well, the smile on Michele's face and the tingling flesh her fingers left behind enough to elicit a deep rumbling from his chest. But Taylor was wrong: Zac couldn't feel his toes and his lips were dry and cracked from the icy air, but all he felt was warm.

--

"Thanks," Zac shivered before taking a tentative sip of the hot cocoa Michele handed him. He and Taylor had both left the house in such a desperate rush that they'd neglected to grab a jacket and he was now feeling the effects of it. But being in Michele's house and sipping down her hot chocolate was slowing beginning to warm him up.

"Welcome," Michele whispered, pulling out the chair across from him to sit down. Taylor sat to the right of her, nursing his own mug of cocoa. Michele gently sipped her own drink, trying to find some way to calm the torrent that was rushing inside her. She couldn't believe she, Taylor and Zac were sitting civilly at her kitchen table with the prospect of mending all their long broken fences. And as much as the thought exhilarated her, and sped her pulse and breath to unmeasureable levels, it scared her perhaps equally as much. She didn't really know if they'd ever be able to fix things. They'd gone so long without even so much as speaking, and she wondered if the damage already done was irreparable. But the absolution had finally come: she was about to find out.

She opened her mouth to speak and then realized she didn't really know where to begin. So, she said the only thing that had been consistently at the forefront of her mind the past few months, the one thing that had been there ever since the day she and Taylor had first gotten together. "I'm sorry."

"No," Taylor and Zac quickly admonished at the same time, leaving Michele's eyes wide and shifting from one to the other.

"It's not your fault, Michele," Taylor said sincerely, locking his gaze into hers. "None of this has been your fault. It's mine.."

"And mine..." Zac interrupted, sharing a sympathetic glance with his brother. "I'm the one who should be apologizing."

"But none of us would've ever been in this mess if it weren't for me," Taylor swallowed around a deep breath. "I'm the one who took advantage of you, of both of you." He glanced sternly from Zac to Michele. "I'm the one who fucked up what you guys had. It's all *my* fault and I'm ready to take responsibility for that."

"But, I didn't have to let go so easily," Zac countered. "Chely and I had a lot of time and energy and emotion invested in this relationship and I just threw it away so easily..."

"Yeah, but I..."

"Hey," Michele nearly yelled, slamming her cup harshly down on the table. "Can we not argue over who's fault it is." Taylor and Zac both snapped to attention, their eyes sheepishly meeting hers. "We all fucked up, okay? We all could've handled things so much better than we did. We all made mistakes.. And we can't go back and change anything. We can't take back all the things we said, all the things we did. What's done is done and we can't do anything about it. We all just have to move on."

"Is that what you're doing?" Zac asked. "Moving on?"

"Yes," she said simply, though her heart was breaking at the hurt evident in his eyes. "But not for the reasons you think."

"Why, then?" Taylor's voice caught and he forced a cough to cover it up.

Michele exhaled a deep breath. "I just need to get away from here for a while, away from Tulsa, away from all the memories, away from you...both of you." Taylor and Zac kept their eyes trained on her. "I just need some time for myself, to figure things out, to give myself a chance to see everything from a distance, you know, kinda separate myself from all this." She swallowed around a breath. "If there was any way I thought I could do that and still stay here, believe me, I would. But I don't see how it's possible."

"So, begging would be pretty much useless, huh?" Zac asked a moment later, his brown eyes barely able to contain the moisture longing to escape them.

"Pretty much," she offered a watery smile as a tear rolled down her left cheek. Zac pushed his chair from the table and got up quickly, taking his cup to place in the sink. He stood there a moment, his shoulders heaving with each deep breath he took. Michele felt a pang of guilt and she clenched her eyes shut, trying to keep her quickly disappearing resolve.

"I'm gonna miss you so fucking much, baby," His voice was a breath that resounded heavily through her body, breaking her heart and touching to the very soul of her. She was up from the table and in his arms before she had time to register that she'd even moved. He felt so natural, so perfect in her arms, even though his hot tears were soaking her shoulder and his chest was heaving against hers. She drew smoothing strokes down his back, trying to comfort him even as her own emotions left her weak.

"Me, too, Zac," she whispered, tightening her arms around him. She held him until his pants had reduced to sighs and the tears had dried on her cheeks.

He pulled away, cupping her face lovingly in his palms. "I love you," his breath settled lightly on her lips before his own touched them in a soft, tender kiss.

Michele closed her eyes, savoring the sound of his voice saying those words and the warmth of his lips against hers. "I love you, too." She swallowed around the lump in her throat before turning back to the table. "Tay..."

Taylor raised his tear-stained face to her, Michele's heart jumping in her throat at the sight of him. He looked so fragile and vulnerable, but when his eyes met hers, they were laden with strength and acceptance. He stood slowly, walking around the table to pull Michele into a hug. He held her tightly, his eyes meeting Zac's over her shoulder, a smile of relief gracing his lips. Michele pulled away, trying to lock her eyes with his.

"Tay, I want you to be okay with..." He placed the tip of his finger over her lips as she stared up at him with wide eyes. He cupped his hand behind her neck, pulling her forehead gently against his lips. He let his hand smooth down her back, raising his other in an open gesture to include Zac. Michele's gaze drifted from him to Zac, who cautiously stepped into the circle they'd created. Taylor slung his arm over his brother's shoulder and tugged him closer, Michele taking the hint and wrapping her arms around them both.

"Promise you'll come back," Taylor said, his eyes meeting Michele's and then his brother's. "Promise us both."

End flashback...

She stood there for what seemed like forever while the memories reinvested themselves, her eyes still drifting from Taylor to Zac. But, it only took her a second to revert back to reality and she became overwhelmed with the urge to throw herself into their arms. A moment of indecision passed as she realized she didn't know which one she wanted to hug first.

They solved the problem for her, both lunging at the same time, their long arms meeting around her in a tangle and nearly knocking her to the ground. She felt relieved, although a bit flustered, as the combination of both their bodies against hers nearly stole her breath and filled her with such a sense of warmth and home that she could barely keep her knees from buckling beneath her.

"Guys, hey, give the girl some room to breathe," Isaac laughed from beside them, but they held on a moment longer before finally pulling away.

"God, Chely, it's so good to see you," Taylor breathed before enveloping her in a hug all his own. She wrapped her arms around his thin frame, reveling in his familiar scent. He never failed to bring about an increase in her pulse and she could feel her blood start to run hot through her veins the instant she felt his breath on her neck and his palms stretched out across her back. "I've missed you so much."

"I missed you, too, Taylor," she mumbled against his shoulder before he suddenly pulled away and surprised everyone by planting his lips on hers. She gasped at the brief, but potent kiss, but smiled when he pulled away with a grin.

"Okay, my turn," Zac laughed, playfully elbowing his brother away in order to have Michele all to himself. He exhaled a deep breath as his eyes washed over her. He thought she looked as beautiful as he'd ever seen her; so young and vibrant and full of life. He met her eyes in a smile before wrapping his arms around her, splaying his hands beneath her shoulder blades. His embrace wasn't as desperate and clutching as Taylor's, but he held her close, securely and firmly, reveling in the feeling of her warm, soft body against his. His newly acquired couple of inches allowed her head to rest easily in the crook of his neck and he decided he liked the way it felt. He sighed heavily, prompting Michele to stand on her toes to wrap her arms tighter around his neck as he stooped to bury his head in her neck. "Hey, baby," he whispered around a light kiss beneath her ear.

"Hey," she sighed, her eyes fluttering shut in contentment and the overwhelming feeling that she'd finally done something right.

Michele spent the next half an hour getting reacquainted with everyone, exchanging a round of hugs with the adults of the crowd while the little ones all vied for her attention. Before long, she found herself right back in the swing of things with the Hanson family: Jessica and Avery had all but cornered her at one of the picnic tables to talk about "girl" stuff while Mackie and Zoe tried to show off their new puppy, with Zac and Taylor trailing not too far behind.

"Hey," Diana's soothing voice interrupted an animated conversation dealing with the fine art of fingernail painting. "Why don't ya'll let Michele go inside and take a breather before we sit down to eat. I'm sure she's tired from her flight and wants to freshen up a little." The kids reluctantly agreed, Michele shooting Diana a glance of relief as she made her way to the house. Between jet lag and general fatigue, she was practically falling-down tired. The adrenaline from the anticipation of seeing the guys again had kept her tense and on her feet all morning, but now that the excitement had died down a little, she was starting to realize exactly how tired she was.

She took the back stairs leading up from the kitchen and slipped into the bathroom adjoining Taylor and Zac's rooms. Despite her weariness, she just had to grin at the state the bathroom was in. It quite obviously belonged to a pair of teenage boys as evidenced by the t-shirts and towels peeking through the half-closed cabinet doors and the assortment of colognes and shampoos sloppily clustered together at one end of the counter. It looked like it had been haphazardly cleaned, probably per request of their mom. Michele stood in front of the mirror, noting with distress that she looked as tired as she felt. She sifted through one of the drawers for a hair tie and pulled her hair back into a ponytail before splashing several handfuls of cold water on her face. When she came up from the sink the third time, another reflection stood beside hers in the mirror. She nearly jumped out of her skin before she realized who it was and that he was holding a towel for her.

"Thanks," she said, taking the towel and patting her face dry before turning off the water. Taylor hopped on the counter beside her, watching her quietly as she studied her appearance in the mirror. She cocked her head to the side and wrinkled her nose at her pale face and slightly puffy eyes. She pulled her hair from it's restraints and began looking through the same drawer for a brush. Taylor slid from the counter and slipped into his room to retrieve one for her. But instead of handing it to her when he returned, he stood behind her and started dragging the brush slowly through her long hair. She sighed in relaxation at the motion of his hands as they worked through her hair. When he got the strands to a silky consistency he was satisfied with, he laid the brush down and sifted his fingers from her scalp to the tips before circling his arms around her. She rested her head back against his shoulder and leaned her body against his, sighing when the weight eased off her tired feet.

"I'm so glad you're home," he whispered, touching his lips to the top of her ear.

"It's only for a couple of weeks, Taylor," she reminded, trying to surreptitiously shift away from his roving lips. "And I'm gonna be working for most of the time."

"I know," he insisted, slipping his hands beneath the straps of her loose overalls. "But a little time is better than no time."

"Taylor..." she warned and he spun her around, crushing his lips hotly against hers before she could protest any further. His tongue forced into her mouth as he pushed her up against the counter, pressing the length of his body against hers. He took her by surprise but it only took a moment before her tongue had worked it's way between his lips and began swirling fiercely with his. Her body had been so long without the touch of a man that she relished in the feel of his hands roving boldly over her body. Her own hands moved under his t-shirt and she nearly flinched from the heat of his skin, but it only managed to further empower her, prompting her lips to move harshly against his. She could feel his hardness already growing through his shorts and it registered somewhere in the back of her mind that she should stop. But it wasn't until she heard the jingling of his belt buckle as it came undone that she realized she *had* to stop.

"Taylor..." he knew where her protests were heading, but he couldn't quite find the strength to remove his lips from hers. So, he abandoned the effort with his zipper and cupped her face in his hands, kissing her hard and thoroughly, leaving her breathless when he tore his lips from hers. He rested his forehead against hers to try to calm his raging breath.

"Who's idea was this again?" he breathed as he attempted a smirk. She smiled and touched her lips to his, careful not to linger too long for fear that she might not be able to contain her own racing hormones. As much as she wanted to be smart and sensible, she couldn't deny the fact that her body was outright aching for his.

"It's for the best, Taylor," she tried to sound convincing, though at the moment she wasn't really all that sure. "It's best for all of us. We're all gonna be better people and better friends in the end. I promise." It wasn't exactly a sound argument but it was the best she could do with the evidence of his arousal still pressing into her stomach.

"And what if you're wrong?" His lust-heavy eyes met hers and she sighed.

"Then, I'll owe you one."

--

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" Michele asked Diana for perhaps the dozenth time. She'd been instructed to sit down and rest while the rest of the family cleared away all the lunch dishes. Diana merely waved her away and went about her business, so Michele settled back in the swing and closed her eyes against the afternoon sun. Lunch had went surprisingly well, especially after her little encounter with Taylor in the bathroom. She'd always known it was going to be hard for them to resist each other; they were used to giving in to the intense physical attraction that existed between them and she knew it would be difficult to get out of that habit. But after feeling his body so close to hers and seeing how her own body responded, she realized it was going to be much more difficult than she'd anticipated. But she was resolved to do it. They'd spent over half a year without so much as touching each other and they'd survived. And she felt positive that it was only going to better their relationship, and let them finally achieve what had never been there before: friendship.

She opened her eyes when the swing shifted and saw Zac trying to cautiously slide in without disturbing her.

"Sorry," he smiled sheepishly and she patted the spot beside her, gesturing for him to sit down. He sat slowly, careful not to send the swing into spasms.

"S'ok," she whispered and rested her head on his shoulder for a moment before he stretched his arm out behind her and pulled her close. She snuggled into him, closing her eyes again and resting one palm just above his knee. He set the swing into motion with his heel and rested his head on top of hers as they swayed back and forth. Michele would've been perfectly content to stay in that exact position for the rest of the day; the sun was warm on her skin, the air crisp and clean around her, and being in Zac's arms was providing the perfect aphrodisiac. The backyard had become peacefully quiet, save the gentle creak of the swing on his hinges with every back and forth motion. The rest of the family had retreated inside; the younger set to take a short rest and the adults to allow Zac and Michele to have some time alone.

And Zac was grateful for it. He'd been dying to have Michele all to himself for a little while. He had a million and one things to say to her. It had been months since they'd really talked and he was desperate for a good heart-to-heart. His entire life the past few months had been a veritable whirlwind of conflicting emotions, thoughts, fears and desires and he knew she'd understand. She always had.

And he could tell she was starting to drift off. Her breathing had become soft and even and the gentle pattern of swirls her fingertips had been creating on his thigh had slowed to a halt. "Chely?"

"Hmmm," she sighed and snuggled closer into him, whimpering when he pulled himself away. He got up from the swing and stood in front of her, meeting her sleepy eyes in a smile as he took her hands in his.

"Come on," he tugged lightly, unable to keep a sly smile from playing on his lips. "Let me take you to bed."

She smiled then, that typical wry Michele-smile and he grinned, thinking that it had been much too long since he'd seen her smile like that. He tugged her to stand and wrapped his arms around her when she leaned against him. He closed his eyes, reveling in the light jasmine scent of her shampoo and the weight of her hands resting on his hips, thinking for the millionth time that day just how it felt to have her home. He mentally kicked himself again as he thought of all the months he'd been without this, all the months he'd let his childish insecurities push her away. It was a thought that stayed in his mind almost constantly, but he tried, for the sake of savoring her back in his arms again, to push it away. He'd have plenty of time to feel guilty later; right now he just wanted to concentrate on feeling whole again.

"Come on," he whispered, loathe to disturb the peaceful cocoon they'd created. "You can go lay down in my room and get some rest."

Michele nodded against his shoulder and kept her arms around him as they walked. They passed through the house to find it quiet and pretty much empty. Taylor was sprawled across the couch, his arm thrown over his eyes as he snored lightly, the TV playing on mute. The trek up the stairs revealed an even quieter atmosphere. Michele figured everyone was taking the opportunity to catch up on sleep lost during the tour, except for maybe Isaac and Alexis. She couldn't help but smile when they passed Ike's room and she heard the soft strains of Billie Holiday seeping through the door.

Zac's room was the cluttered mess it always was, but it suited him: all chaotic and wild. He chunked several handfuls of clothes off the bed and tried to smooth the tangled sheets with his hands. Michele sat on the foot of the bed as he moved about the room, straightening up a bit and lighting a few candles. She leaned back on her hands, her brow knitting as she thought of the last time she had been in his room. She shook the thought from her head and yawned sleepily as Zac switched off the main light.

"You wanna change or something?" he asked quietly. "Might be more comfortable..."

"Yeah," she nodded. "That'd be nice." Zac began digging through the top drawer of his dresser and produced a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers that he hoped were clean.

"This okay?" he asked. Michele nodded and took the proffered clothes, smiling almost shyly as she made her way to the bathroom to change. Zac flopped down on the bed the instant she left the room, his head swimming with a million different thoughts and emotions. He felt a surge of pride at the fact that she trusted him enough to leave the bathroom door open while she was changing. It made him think back to times gone by and how close they used to be. But he couldn't keep another, more disturbing thought from overruling the rest. The second they'd stepped foot into his room, memories of the last time she'd been there had hit him like a ton of bricks. He felt sick at the mere thought of all the things he said to her, all the things he'd insinuated about her. He wanted more than anything in the world to be able to take those words back. Thinking of the hurt he remembered seeing in her eyes made him want to cry.

He wondered if she'd thought of that night, too; she hadn't let on if she did. He wondered if maybe she'd forgotten, or if maybe she'd just forgiven him. He couldn't really tell; he'd have to talk to her to find out. But at the moment, talking was the last thing on Zac's mind. He just wanted to be with her. Whether he was holding her, or just watching her sleep, he didn't care, as long as he could be close to her.

He propped himself up on his elbows when he saw the bathroom light go out and Michele appeared at the door. His eyes washed over her as she made her way across the room and he immediately decided that she looked a hell of a lot better in his ratty old clothes than he did. He sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed as she came to stand between his knees.

"It feels so good to be home, Zac," she whispered, smoothing his hair out of his face as he looked up at her, a contented smile playing across her lips.

"It feels good to have you home," he said, moving his hands to rest on her legs, sliding them just under the rim of her shorts to lightly massage the backs of her thighs.

She slid her hands through his hair to cup his face in her palms before touching her lips gently to his. His eyes fluttered shut and try as he might, he couldn't keep a blush from tingeing his cheeks. Michele bit her lower lip as she pulled away, a little surprised because she couldn't recall a time she'd ever seen Zac blush.

"You wanna lay down with me?" she whispered, her fingers still playing through the tips of his hair.

"Yeah," he nodded and she moved to turn back the covers. She slid in between the sheets, sighing as she sank down in them and his warm boyish scent enveloped her. Zac toed his shoes off and crawled into bed beside her, laying on his back and opening his arms for her to snuggle into. She pulled the comforter up with her as she rested her head on his shoulder and he tightened his arm around her. It wasn't long before the peacefulness of his room and the warmth of his body next to hers was lulling her into a content sleep.

"Could this be any more perfect?" she whispered, her eyes fluttering shut as she finally drifted off.

"Only in heaven," Zac whispered back, his lips touching her forehead before he closed his eyes and let sleep overcome him.

His mind was filled to the point of bursting with all the things he wanted to say to her. There was the usual: I miss you...I love you...I'm sorry - things he felt he could never say enough, even though she was probably already sick of hearing them. But there were other things - thoughts and emotions that had, up until now, been completely foreign to him. He'd done a lot of growing up over the past 9 months and he'd begun to see everything in a different light. Nothing seemed familiar to him anymore; all the things he'd been used to thinking and feeling had been replaced by more intense, more confusing, replicas of themselves. And he didn't quite know what to make of it. But he knew Michele would understand. She always had a knack for knowing just what he was talking about even when he couldn't properly express himself.

And aside from that, he had a whole tour journal worth of things to tell her. He was dying to tell her about all the places they'd been and all the things they'd seen. He wanted to see her face when he told her about the breathtaking sunsets he'd watched in Mexico City and the snowcapped mountains he'd seen in Denver. He wanted to show her the coral necklace he'd bought in Hawaii and all the quirky t-shirts he'd gotten at Danny's in Chicago. He wanted to tell her about the concert in Detroit when he'd banged the drums so hard his hands bled, and he wanted to tell her about Meg, the girl he'd met at a coffee house in San Diego. He wanted to relive the past 9 months of his life, but he wanted to do it with her this time.

"Hey you," Michele's sleepy voice broke through his reverie. He'd been so caught up in his memories that he hadn't noticed her eyes fluttering open.

"Hey," he whispered softly, not wanting to disturb that sense of sereneness he knew she felt in the first few seconds of waking up. She looked rested and refreshed, her eyes gleaming as a content smile stretched lazily across her lips. Zac brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face with his fingertips, Michele sighing under his gentle touch. "Sleep well?"

"Perfect," she smiled, stretching her legs out beneath the covers. The concern and sincerity in his eyes filled her with an overwhelming sense of warmth and belonging. "I haven't slept that good in a while. Thank you," she tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear, letting her fingertips linger on his cheek.

"For what?" he smiled, sinking down into the bed and laying his head beside hers on the pillow.

"For staying with me," she said softly, smoothing his hair away from his temple as he draped a protective arm around her waist. "You always make me feel so safe, Zac."

He opened his mouth to respond, but realized he couldn't find any words to fully justify the immense warmth that began to spread through his body. He wasn't sure if it was from her closeness or from her sentiments, but he decided that it was probably an equal combination of both. He couldn't count the number of times he'd lain in bed with her like this, so close he could feel her breath, but he couldn't remember a time when it had affected him quite this way. He couldn't quite name the emotions that suddenly began to swirl through his body, but they confused and fascinated him at the same time. He had a sudden urge to protect her; to gather her in his arms and hold her tightly to his chest to keep any would-be demons of unhappiness or misery from touching her. He also felt an overwhelming stab of loyalty and affection shoot through him. He saw her as the woman he'd grown so close to and such good friends with, the woman he'd shared so much with and given so much of himself to. The sense of pride he felt was nearly enough to make him want to cry.

And so, he did the only thing that he felt he could; the one thing he thought might parallel what he was feeling inside. He briefly wet his lips and gently touched them to hers, his eyes fluttering shut at the contact. On the surface, the kiss was like the myriad others they'd shared, but it sent Zac's insides into a frenzy. He surprised himself by initiating the kiss; he usually left that up to Michele since she was decidedly more experienced in such matters and his boyish shyness kept him from being too forward. He surprised them both when he opened his mouth to gently capture her bottom lip between his own. Her fingers were still brushing rhythmic strokes through his hair but they stopped the instant his lips began to move against hers. Zac knew he probably should've taken that as a signal to stop, but he couldn't pull his lips from hers, not when it felt so right and especially not since she'd begun to respond.

Their kiss only lasted a few brief, but heavenly moments, but it struck a chord in both Michele and Zac. It was the first time he'd ever deliberately kissed her, with no playful intentions, and for no other reason than because he wanted to. He had to will his eyes to open, fearful of what her reaction might be, but he couldn't hold back a grin when he saw a satisfied smile stretching across her lips and her eyes locked into his. He knew he was probably blushing again for he felt his blood run hot when her gaze traveled briefly to his lips and back up again.

"God, you've changed so much..." Her fingertips drew a trail over his eyebrows, smoothing down his cheek and along his jaw as her eyes searched his face, carefully roaming over every feature. "And I've missed it. I've missed everything..."

He caught her hand with his own as it lingered on his cheek and touched his lips tenderly to the center of her palm, his eyes never leaving hers. "But you're here now, baby. That's all that matters."

"I know...but I..."

"Shh," he placed a fingertip against her lips and shot her a pointed, but comforting glare, his warm eyes gentle and expressive. "Don't think about that, okay? You said it yourself: what's past is past. We just have to forget about all that other shit and just concentrate on right now. Just let it all go.."

"So, how are we supposed to get back to the way things were?" She looked worried and scared, like someone who'd just realized they done something they couldn't ever take back.

"We don't have to get anything back, Chely. It's still here," he gently touched the center of his chest with his fingertips. "It's always been right here. I never stopped loving you..."

Her eyes glazed over with what looked like the beginnings of a good cry and Zac mentally cursed himself. He hated seeing her cry, even it was with tears of relief or joy; it always made him want to cry, too. "Me neither," she finally found her voice, although it was watery and wanted to get choked in her throat.

"See, everything's gonna be fine," he cupped her jaw and swiped a lone tear with his thumb. "I promise." He felt she needed some sort of affirmation, so he licked his lips again with every intention of pressing them back to hers when a hollow knock sounded at his door. He instinctively slid away from her, not wanting to have to explain their somewhat suggestive positions to either his parents or any of his younger siblings. He sat up at the edge of the bed and combed his hair behind his ears. "Come in,"

The door slowly creaked open and Taylor poked his head in, one hand covering his eyes. Michele burst into laughter at the sight and Zac rolled his eyes before falling back onto the bed. Taylor peeked through two spread fingers, "Just wanted to make sure ya'll were decent," he grinned before opening his eyes fully and surveying the scene before him.

"We were just sleeping, Tay," Zac admonished, even though he knew his brother was joking. He kicked his legs back under the covers and lay back down beside Michele.

"Uh huh," Taylor grinned, moving around to the opposite side of the bed. "That's what they all say." He pulled up the covers and gestured to Michele. "Scoot over."

Michele slid closer to Zac, resting her head on his pillow as she watched Taylor slide into the bed beside her and pull the covers up to his chin, the cheeky grin never leaving his face. "Well, isn't this cozy?" Michele said once they'd all gotten settled.

"Yep," Zac snickered and Michele playfully dug an elbow into his stomach. He retaliated by sneaking a hand beneath the covers and tickling her side, slightly surprised when his fingers found bare skin instead of the cotton of her shirt.

"Be even more cozy if I did this," Taylor grinned wickedly before planting a wet, sloppy kiss on the underside of her jaw.

"Hey," Zac said dramatically as Michele playfully shoved Taylor away. "There will be no kissing in my bed."

"Oh, really?" Michele tilted her head up to look at Zac, a suggestive, teasing smile on her lips.

"Okay," he reconsidered with a grin. "There will be no kissing *Tay* in my bed." Michele laughed and Taylor stuck his bottom lip out in an over-exaggerated pout, replacing it with a grin when Michele gently tugged at a few strands of his hair. A contented silence fell over the room, three sets of even breathing providing the only sound. Michele closed her eyes and sighed. She remembered a time not so long ago when she would've felt tense to the point of being nauseous at being sandwiched between Taylor and Zac. And yet here she was, laying in bed between them, and feeling more at ease and at home than she had in months. She almost laughed out loud at the sheer ridiculousness of it all, but she couldn't bring herself to do anything but smile. The feeling of Zac's warm fingers gently swirling on the bare skin of her stomach and the rhythm of her own fingers twisting through Taylor's hair threatened to lull her back to sleep.

"Okay, guys," she said around a yawn, trying to sit up against the protesting arm Zac had tightened around her stomach. "As much as I'm enjoying this little threesome..." she kicked Taylor under the covers when he snickered. "...I'm gonna have to get going; got tons of stuff to do before tomorrow."

Zac relented with a groan and she crawled out from between them, sliding off the end of the bed to go in the bathroom to change. Zac turned his head to watch her go, Taylor propping on his elbow to allow himself a better view. "I am so glad she's home..." Taylor said sincerely, the sounds of Michele milling around in his bathroom bringing music to his ears.

"Me too, man," Zac smiled slowly. "Me, too."

--

"Miss Hendricks?" Michele raised her head at the sound of her voice being called. "Mr. Thornton can see you now."

Michele gathered up the portfolios and her briefcase and let the pretty secretary escort her into the largest office on the penthouse floor of the agency.

"Well, Michele," Mr. Thornton closed the portfolio he'd been flipping through and took off his glasses. "Everything's looking good. You're doing an excellent job."

"Well, thank you," Michele blushed. "I'm glad everything is meeting your approval."

"It is," he nodded. "And we've heard from the Atlanta office. They're quite pleased with your work as well." Michele smiled modestly. "They've also informed us of the request you submitted before you left."

Michele remained silent, her smile fading as she awaited either a confirmation or a rejection.

"It's an odd request, to say the least," Mr. Thornton surmised, Michele nodding in agreement. "And it's still under consideration..." Michele exhaled a tiny breath of relief. "I'm just wanting to make sure you understand the full implications of what you're asking."

"I do, Mr. Thornton, sir," Michele spoke confidently. "I've thought about it thoroughly and I've decided that it's best for me."

"Well," he conceded. "Like I said, it's still under consideration, but I suspect you'll be hearing something within the next two weeks or so."

"Thank you, sir," Michele nodded. "I truly appreciate your promptness."

"I think that will be all for today," Mr. Thornton stood offering Michele his hand, which she graciously shook. "But, I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning."

"Yes, thank you sir," Michele nodded, exhaling a deep breath as she made her way out of the office.

--

Michele pulled her company-provided Eclipse into her driveway, grinning when she saw a black truck parked in her usual spot and Taylor's lanky form leaning against the tail gate.

"What are you doing here?" she grinned once she'd cut the engine and slid out of the car.

"Waiting for you," he shrugged, his eyes squinting against the noon day sun. "Figured you'd probably come home for lunch."

Michele smiled at his thoughtfulness. "Hi," she said, touching her lips to his in a brief kiss.

"Hi," he grinned, moving in for another kiss, Michele craftily avoiding his wandering lips.

"Come on, loverboy," she grinned, tugging at his shirt sleeve as she made her way to the house. Taylor followed, leaning against the porch rail with an exaggerated pout as Michele unlocked the back door. "You gonna stand there all day?" She turned back to him once she'd gotten the door open to find him still standing there pouting. He glanced up at her through the thin wisps of hair that had fallen in his eyes, employing the puppy-dog-eyes tactic to his full advantage. He knew she couldn't resist that look. "You're terrible," she sighed, a wry smile tugging at her lips. She took a step forward and rested a hand on his waist before standing on her toes to close her mouth over his. She kissed him tenderly, resisting the urge to sigh when he moved to gently cup her jaw in his palm.

"Tayor...we can't....keep..." He interrupted her halfhearted protest with a series of tiny kisses until he finally gave in and pulled away, but not before stealing a final kiss.

"I know, I know," he relented, wrapping his arms loosely around her. "I"m just...I miss you."

"I know," she whispered, her voice muffled by his shoulder. She knit her brow and groaned inwardly when she felt her resolve begin to weaken again. "I miss you, too. But you can't keep doing this, Tay. It only makes things harder."

He smirked over her shoulder, but refrained from making the suggestive comment that was dancing on the tip of his tongue. He knew she was right; he was treading on dangerous ground by continually putting them in compromising situations. The temptation was too great and he knew eventually they'd probably give in to it. And he knew that was the last thing she wanted, despite her body language; he couldn't help but notice the way her body seemed to meld into his whenever they embraced. But he knew she was counting on him and he was determined not to disappoint her.

So, he let his mind drift to something he'd been thinking about ever since their encounter in the bathroom a few days ago; something that had occupied nearly every brain cell he owned. He had come up with what he thought was the perfect solution to their problem; a seemingly flawless plan that would put them both in a situation where they'd be hesitant to give in to each other. He decided that now would be the perfect time to put the offer on the table; now, before he changed his mind.

"Come on," Taylor pulled away. "There's something I wanna talk to you about." Michele knit her brow but followed him into the house, accepting his hand as he pulled her into the living room and led her to sit on the couch.

"There's something I've been thinking a lot about," he began after exhaling a deep breath. "And I don't know what you'll think about it, but I think it might be worth a try."

"Just tell me." She pulled both her feet up on the couch and turned to him, her curiosity peaked.

"Okay, well, I know that you and I aren't exactly "dating," he emphasized the word with the traditional quote marks. "But a lot of the stuff between us is still there. There's no point in us trying to deny it." Michele nodded her agreement and he continued. "But I know how important it is to you for us to be friends, to build something that doesn't revolve around sex. And I want that, too. But...I can't deny how much I want you, Michele. It's this attraction, this physical...*desire* that I can't control. Like right now, being here with you in this house where we've made so many wonderful memories, on this couch where we've made love so many times, I can't help but want you. It's something I don't think I'll ever get over."

"Oh, Tay..." Michele gently brushed her fingers against his cheek.

"But I know you want more than that," he caught her hand in his own and held it tightly. "And I love you too much not to respect your wishes. As hard as it may be, I'll back off."

"Taylor, you don't have to *back off*," Michele said pointedly. "I mean...I want you just as much."

"Exactly," he said, his eyes glazing over at her confession. "And that's why I think we should see other people."

"What?" She wasn't sure she heard him correctly, because what she thought he'd said seemed way too absurd to be true.

"I know it sounds crazy," Taylor explained. "especially since we're not really all that together anymore, but I think if we have...other people..to sorta..."

"Sorta what? Relieve the tension?" Michele narrowed her eyes, not believing what she thought he was saying. "Are you asking my permission to fuck someone else because you can't fuck me?"

"No!," he yelled emphatically, his eyes growing wide and expressive. "That's the absolute last thing on my mind. I don't want to be with anyone else like that. I swear."

Michele couldn't help the tiny wave of relief that ran through her veins. "Me neither," she confessed, realizing for the first time that it was true. She didn't want to be with anyone else; she didn't know how anyone else could ever measure up. "But, I don't get what you're trying to say, Taylor."

"I'm talking about moving on," he said softly. "It's pretty obvious that you're getting on with your life and I guess it's time I get on with mine."

"But, Taylor, we don't have to stop being friends or stop going out," Michele said. "We can still see each other."

"I know, but...what I mean is that maybe if we...if *I*...have someone else to talk to and hang out with, then I won't think about you all the time."

His eyes met hers and Michele's heart nearly split into a million pieces. He looked so young and vulnerable, so unlike the strong and charming Taylor she knew. She couldn't keep the tears from welling behind her eyes and when one escaped, she couldn't bring herself to swipe it away. She felt so completely helpless. Part of her wanted to take everything back, to crush her lips to his and tell him that she'd made the worst mistake of her life by letting him go. But she couldn't. She wanted more than that; she wanted to know him better than a quick fuck would allow, but that didn't make it any easier.

"If that's what you want..."

"It's not what I want," Taylor's watery eyes met hers. "But I'll do it...for you."

Another fat tear rolled lazily down Michele's cheek and she moved her fingers to sweep Taylor's bangs from his eyes. His eyes closed at her touch and she gently pressed her lips to his cheek. "I love you, Taylor."

"It's *not* his birthday," Avery grumbled, crossing their path on the way into the kitchen. She made her displeasure known as she stalked heavily up the stairs.

"She has issues about celebrating a birthday on any day other than the actual day of birth," Diana explained when Michele shot her a curious glance as they entered the kitchen. "It's just this thing of hers."

"Oh," Michele grinned, noticing the balloons and streamers that adorned the kitchen. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Um, no..I think I got it pretty much under control," Diana said, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. "The lasagna's in the oven and the cake's in the fridge, so we're just about all set."

"Okay," Michele nodded, feeling a tiny bit awkward just standing there in the vast kitchen. "Should I go check on the kids or something?"

"Well, the guys are upstairs *supposedly* putting on something nice for tonight," Diana said with a grin. "You could probably go supervise them. I'm sure they need it."

"Sure," Michele laughed, turning to go up the stairs, passing a grumbling Avery who was on her way back down. She paused momentarily in front of Taylor's door, one hand anxiously fiddling with the velvet box in the pocket of her long denim dress. She'd purchased the silver pinky ring a few months prior and now that the time had arrived for the gift to be given, she wasn't sure if it was appropriate anymore. Her feelings for him hadn't changed, but the status of their relationship most definitely had. She wondered if giving him the ring would completely contradict everything they'd talked about and everything they'd decided about the future course of their relationship. She took a deep breath and raised her hand to gently knock, but the door swung open before her knuckles ever touched the wood.

"Christ," Taylor clutched his chest in surprise but then instinctively reached out for Michele as she jumped back. "Sorry. You scared me. I wasn't expecting that."

"Sorry," she smiled. "I was just about to knock." If his brothers failed to heed their mother's instructions, Taylor would certainly make up for it. He looked as handsome as Michele had ever seen him; he'd chosen a baby blue button up that made his eyes seem even more impossibly blue and khakis, a funky belt buckle adding a Taylor-touch to the ensemble. "You look amazing."

"Thank you," Another tinge of pink crept onto his excitement-reddened cheeks. "You look beautiful, as always."

"Thanks," Michele half-smiled. She hated the way they were standing there, awkwardly exchanging pleasantries like near-strangers. It left her feeling sad and empty. But, she resolved not to let it show. This was Taylor's night and she wanted him to be happy. "I have something for you," she gestured with her eyes into his room, not wanting to do the gift thing in the middle of the hall.

"Oh really?" he raised his eyebrows suggestively as she slipped past him. He closed the door behind him and turned to her. "Should I be lighting some candles and turning back the covers?" He teasingly pulled at the top button of his shirt, slipping it out of it's buttonhole.

"Ha ha," she smiled wryly, though she was glad the tension had been broken. "Come sit with me," she sat on the foot of his bed and patted the spot next to her. He sat beside her and she inwardly groaned when the scent of his cologne mixed with the slightest hint of soap infiltrated her senses. She pulled the tiny black box from her pocket, Taylor's eyes widening noticeably when he saw it.

"Chely, you didn't have to..."

"I wanted to," she smiled, meeting her eyes with his. "And to be honest, I wasn't sure if should still give it to you after...you know. But," she shrugged, her eyes lowering to her lap. "I still care about you and I...love you. And I just wanted you to know."

Taylor put his hand behind her head, tugging her forehead to meet his lips. "You are the most amazing woman I've ever met," he said sincerely, locking his steely gaze with hers.

"Taylor..." she tried to look away from his penetrating gaze, but he tilted her chin with his finger, keeping her eyes to his.

"You are," he reiterated, his eyes boring into hers. He was going to kiss her again, she knew it; the way his eyes were glazing over, his lips gently parting and his fingers cupping her jaw was going to lead to another heart-stopping kiss. And the way he was making her feel right now was reason enough to let it happen.

"You...um..." she stuttered, breaking their connection. "You should open your gift." He pulled away shyly, his eyes drifting from hers to the tiny box she still held. She placed it in his open palm, and he gently flipped it open.

"Michele...wow..." He picked the tiny ring from it's case, holding it closer to inspect the markings engraved on it's silver surface. "This is....amazing. Thank you."

"The symbols...," she pointed to the engraving. "..they're Chinese. Faith, forgiveness and hope." She saw him swallow harshly as he looked at the ring, running his fingertips over the tiny markings. She felt tears began to build behind her eyes as she watched him, relieved that he seemed to understand the significance of the symbols. She smiled as she thought of the silver band that hung on the chain beneath her shirt, it's smooth surface dented with the same symbols.

"Thank you," he whispered, shifting his eyes to hers, Michele surprised to find them brimming with tears. "This means so much to me. I'll never take it off."

"You're welcome," Michele said, biting her lower lip as he reached behind his neck to unclasp one of his chains. He slid the ring onto the leather cord instead of onto his finger, Michele's breath catching in her throat. He'd thought the same as she; he wanted it to be close to his heart.

"You'll put it on for me?" he held the clasps out to her and she took them between shaking fingers. She reached up to him to attach it back behind his neck, leaving her hands on his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around her. He buried his face in her neck, his warm lips gently brushing across her racing pulse. "Thank you."

--

Michele stayed in Taylor's room sitting on the edge of his bed for a few minutes after he left to make an appearance downstairs. He'd tucked the chain beneath his shirt and gently patted the spot where it lay before slipping out the door. Michele instinctively felt for her own ring, finding it's outline in it's usual spot above her breasts. She wasn't quite sure how or why, but she knew something felt different between them now. She knew that when she walked down those stairs and saw him with his family, there would be no tension and no awkward glances. There would be no rush to be near him, no uncertainty of whether she could control her emotions. There would be no reliving the past; everything that had happened between them now lie enclosed within the circles of matching silver bands, resting close enough to their owner's hearts not to be forgotten, but far enough to let them move on. The cool metal resting against her breast would now serve as a momento of their past and a reminder that he would always be a part of her future.

The sound of water running in the adjoining bathroom drew Michele from her thoughts. She swiped her cheeks to erase any remaining traces of tears and walked to the open door, finding Zac standing in nothing but his boxers brushing his teeth at the sink.

"I don't think that's quite what your mom had in mind," she teased and he looked up, his reflection grinning around the toothbrush. He finished brushing and rinsed his mouth out, swiping the excess water with the back of his hand as he turned around. Michele couldn't help the languid sweep her eyes did of his body; it certainly wasn't the first time she'd seen him in such a state, but it had been a while and he had...grown. His eyes followed hers and she found herself praying for him to blush; blushing she could handle. The smug smile that was playing on his lips unnerved her. He wasn't supposed to be so self-assured in front of women, herself included.

"I dunno," he shrugged, looking down at his body as if he were examining a suit. "I kinda like it."

"Come on," Michele rolled her eyes and took his elbow, spinning him around to go into his room. "Let's find you something to wear."

"But, why?" he pouted, stopping in front of her and causing Michele to run into his backside.

"Because..," she teased, snapping the waistband of his boxers. "..as much as I enjoy looking at your cute little bum, I don't think your parents would appreciate it all that much. Now, sit." She pinched his ass before playfully shoving him and he fell dramatically onto his bed. He propped himself on his elbow to watch her cross the room and begin rifling through his closet. She pulled out item after item of clothing, more often than not crinkling her nose in disgust and throwing the offending piece back in the closet. Zac chuckled to himself as he watched her; he'd already been through his entire wardrobe once and hadn't found anything his mother might deem acceptable. But he kept quiet, deciding he rather liked the sight of her bent at the waist as she picked up various shirts and pants from the floor of his closet.

"How about this?" Michele held up a thin navy blue sweater she'd found hanging in the back of the closet. Zac's gaze was fixed on her, but he seemed to be staring *through* her instead of at her; his eyes were dazed, a faraway look keeping them still and unblinking. "Zac...?"

"You look really pretty tonight," he said, his eyes finally roving up to meet hers.

"Thank you," she said sweetly, smiling at the sincerity in his eyes. She felt herself wanting to blush under his intense gaze. His soft eyes and warm gaze had never seemed so penetrating before and she had to turn around before it made her skin crawl. She distractedly began looking through his clothes again, still feeling his eyes on her even as she heard the squeak of the bed springs and the pad of his feet on the thick carpet.

"That shirt's fine," Michele felt his warm breath on her ear a second before she felt his arms circle around her waist. He settled his cheek against her ear and drew her back until her body leaned against the length of his. She hesitantly let her head drop back onto his shoulder, and as his arms tightened even around her, let her own arms rest gently atop the muscular strength of his. She couldn't help but notice how soft his skin felt beneath her fingers or how the scent of soap from his shower still clung to him. If there was one thing Michele loved about Zac, it was his embrace. His touch was always so tender and adoring. His hugs were never groping or desperate, never hesitant or fragile, but always firmly and securely. His thick, solid body was always so warm and soft. He always held her like he loved her. But right now, he was making her feel anything but safe and secure. She was tense and on edge, unnerved by the way he'd been looking at her. And her head was swimming from the heat that emanated from his half-naked body as it pressed solidly against hers. She found herself acutely aware of every inch of his body: she could feel the gentle ripples of his chest and stomach and the play of the muscles in his strong arms as they fastened themselves securely around her waist. And when she realized she could feel the subtle hints of his manhood through the thin cotton of his boxers, she suddenly jerked herself from his grasp.

"Okay, so now you need some pants," she began hurriedly rifling through the closet, trying desperately to process all the conflicting thoughts and emotions that were swirling through her mind in a dizzying pace almost matching that of her racing pulse.

"Chely...?" She barely heard Zac's voice, but felt the weight of his hand as he touched her elbow.

She spun around, trying to calm her flustered nerves, trying not to let him see the effect he'd had on her. "I'm sorry," she ran her fingers nervously through her hair. "I..um..I saw Taylor earlier and we sorta had an emotional...thing and...it's just kinda got me weirded out a little..." She stuttered through the half-lie, hoping he bought it.

"Oh, I didn't know," Zac said thoughtfully, concern furrowing his brow as he gently touched his fingertips to her cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said quickly, instantly sorry that she'd lied to him. "I'm fine. It's no big deal. Don't worry about it."

"Sure?"

"Sure." She gave him her best smile and he grinned. "Now, let's get you dressed."

--

"Where's Tay?" Michele yelled over the loud thumping of music from the downstairs stereo. The Hanson living room and den were filled to the point of bursting with bodies, all moving in rhythm to the heavy bass.

"I don' t know," Isaac yelled back, an amber-colored liquid sloshing from his cup as one of the dancing bodies bumped him from behind. "Wanna drink?" He grinned cheesily, offering Michele the red plastic cup.

"No," Michele shook her head and laughed, through she had a feeling Ike had no idea what she was talking about. Taylor's no-parents, drunk-fest had been in swing for an hour or so already and the alcohol had apparently made the rounds. "I'm gonna go find Tay. See ya later."

Isaac only laughed and Michele rolled her eyes as she began to push and shove her way through the thick throng of people. Taylor hadn't lied when he said he was gonna throw a huge birthday bash; the entire lower level of the house was filled with people, most of whom she'd didn't recognize. She stood on her toes in the center of the room, hoping to catch at least a glance of someone she knew. She found that she was considerably shorter than most everyone else and could only see shadowy outlines in the darkened room. She finally decided to give up, deciding that the only way she'd ever be able to see would be to stand on the coffee table or something, but at the moment, that position was occupied by a young woman whose filmy tank top was hanging precariously on her gyrating frame. So, Michele sighed and began to press onward in the direction of the kitchen.

She'd made it to the entry-way, where the light from the kitchen had begun to spill into the living room, when a body slammed into her from behind and she felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around her. She nearly screamed, but when a pair of lips placed a sloppy kiss on her cheek, she realized it had to be Zac. She crinkled her nose when she caught a whiff of his breath and it reeked of alcohol. Her suspicions were confirmed when she loosened herself from his grasp and turned around.

"Zac..!" She tried desperately not to laugh, but his wild eyes and giddy grin made it nearly impossible. As long as she had known Zac, she'd never seen him drunk. She'd only seen him drink a couple times and that had been when his parents let him have a glass or two of celebratory champagne after their albums were released.

"Chely...baby..." he howled, trying to wrap his floppy arms back around her, but she danced out of his reach. She had to admit, as funny as he looked, his silly demeanor scared her somewhat.

"What the hell have you been drinking?" She chastised herself when her voice sounded more lighthearted that she would've liked. She didn't like seeing him like this, and her protective instincts were taking over.

"Nothing," he said, his grin falling, his eyes dulling, and his voice taking on an even, solemn tone. Michele's brow creased in confusion as her eyes widened and he grinned. "I'm kidding. I've only had like one beer or something. I'm just messing with ya."

"You ass," she swatted at his chest before turning around to sift through the assortment of beverages littering the kitchen table. She selected a fuzzy navel wine cooler, cringing when Zac opened one for himself. "I wish you wouldn't do that."

He looked pointedly at the drink in her own hand and she closed her mouth to any further protests. "It's a special occasion and besides, I have no intentions other than drinking myself silly and collapsing into my bed sometime around 4 o'clock and then swearing on my life never to drink again after puking my guts out tomorrow morning." He finished his tirade with a signature cheeky Zac-grin and a swig of his drink and Michele couldn't help but smile back.

"Well, when you put it that way..." Michele grinned and took long swallow of her drink. They moved out of the way when a few people came in to peruse the drinks, Michele taking the opportunity to scan the crowd from a distance. "When's the last time you saw Tay?"

"Been awhile," Zac shrugged. "He's making the rounds; hitting everyone up for gifts."

Michele smirked, taking another swig of her drink. She could already feel the effects of the alcohol as it began coursing through her system and she decided that no matter where Tay was, she was going to enjoy his party. "Come on, Zac," she said, swilling down what was left of her drink. "Let's dance."

--

Zac, by nature, was most definitely not a dancer. So, when Michele had all but dragged him into the middle of the sweaty crowd in the living room, he'd protested to no end. But now, a good hour later, he found himself trying to remember why he'd fought her so much. He'd discovered that he rather enjoyed this dancing thing. But then again, what guy wouldn't - with a beautiful, scantily clad woman rubbing herself against him every time the beat swung down, making his mind swirl with fiercely perverted thoughts and his hips to grind instinctively against hers. Best friend or not, Michele was making him dizzy with desire. And he knew it was more or less the alcohol; they'd both downed another couple of wine coolers and he knew he was feeling abnormally loose and uninhibited. And apparently so was she; she'd shed her long sleeve over shirt, leaving her in a skimpy tank top and form fitting velvet pants that Zac had come to discover were his favorite thing on the face of the earth. She'd pulled her damp hair up into a loose knot and he couldn't keep his eyes off the tiny rivulets of sweat as they trailed down her neck and clung to the exposed skin between her breasts. He'd had his hands on her hips for a while now, groaning every time she swiveled them close to his own, but not daring to let go. He could feel her heat every time she pressed herself against him and his body was responding in ways he couldn't control. She was making him feel so damn sexy and he was reveling in every second of it.

His mind barely registered when a slower tempo began to seep from the stereo, but he became fully alert when Michele circled her arms around his neck and tugged his body closer to hers. Her fingers wound into his hair behind his neck and he stooped to bury his face in the crook of her neck. Her warm, womanly scent filled his senses and he squirmed, praying to God she couldn't feel the lump that was starting to grow involuntarily in his pants. And he knew that if she stayed so tightly pressed against him for much longer, the evidence of his excitement was going to be painfully obvious.

And so, when Michele pulled slightly away, he couldn't help the tinge of relief he felt. But he couldn't deny the sense of deprivation he felt when the heat of her body left his. He kept his hands resting on the swell of her hips as she pulled back to look over his shoulder, but he dropped them to his sides when she spoke.

"Oh, there's Tay," Michele said, finally catching sight of him as he headed in the direction of the kitchen. "I'm gonna go talk to him." Zac wanted to wrap his arms back around her, to keep her close to him and to keep her from going to Taylor. As selfish as it sounded, he wanted to be the one receiving all her attention tonight and he couldn't help the look of hurt that creased his forehead.

"I thought you wanted to dance," Zac said, immediately cursing himself for sounding so childish and stupid, especially considering they'd been dancing for the better part of the past hour.

"I have to wish Tay a happy birthday," she insisted. "Before he gets away again and I..." She barely had time to finish her sentiment before she was gone, leaving Zac standing alone and feeling out of place in the center of the living room.

"Fuck this," He released a harsh sigh and stalked away on a mission to find something to drown his displeasure.

Michele pushed her way through the crowd, intent on catching Taylor before he slipped out of her view again. Her mind was still spinning from the alcohol and the excitement of dancing so wildly, and she wasn't sure of what to expect from an encounter with Taylor. If he was half as drunk as she suspected he'd be, she knew there'd be no controlling his hormones. And after what had just played out on the dance floor with Zac, she wasn't all that sure she had a strong hold over her own.

"Damnit," she cursed when she entered the kitchen and saw no trace of Taylor. Her buzzed state was making her intolerable and she was starting to get pissed off at not being able to find him. She decided to pick up another wine cooler instead and had turned to go back into the living room to find Zac when she heard the back door open. She smiled when Taylor stepped through, his lips stretched in a wide grin as he appeared to be laughing with some one who was apparently following him into the house. Michele's face fell, however, when she realized the someone was a woman and that Taylor's hand was firmly grasping one of hers.

"Chely," Taylor grinned when he saw her, and Michele's eyes instinctively went to his occupied hand, noting with contempt that he didn't let go.

"Hey, Tay," she hated that she sounded so unsure and caught off guard, but she couldn't help it. When Taylor said he thought they should see other people, she had no idea he meant it so literally... or so soon. But here he was with a tall, thin brunette on his arm and looking quite pleased with himself.

"Oh, um, this is Lauren," he gestured to the young woman. "Lauren, this is Michele."

"Nice to meet you," Lauren said sweetly, extending her hand for Michele to shake. "I've heard a lot about you. Tay said you guys were good friends."

Michele offered the most nice-nasty smile she could muster. "Yeah, we *are* good friends." She knew she was probably sounding bitter and jealous, but at this point, she didn't care. The alcohol was fuzzing her brain and whether he meant to or not, she felt like Taylor was intentionally showing off his latest conquest in an attempt to make her jealous. And the hurt she initially felt was quickly transforming into a seething anger. She had to bite her tongue to keep from making a comment she knew she'd regret. "And I just came to wish you a happy birthday." She met his gaze and she almost burst into tears at the guilt she saw hiding behind his cocky blue eyes.

"Thank you," he whispered, his gaze lowering to the floor. The tension in the room crept to an unbearable level in the few seconds of awkward silence that followed.

"Well, I guess I'll see you later, then," Michele said quickly, her eyes meeting Taylor's for a brief moment before he looked away again. "It was nice to meet you, Lauren."

Michele didn't hear if Taylor said anything else to her and, as she made her way back into the living room, she realized she didn't care. All she wanted to concentrate on was the bottle of sweet liquid that hung limply in one hand. She fell easily into the rhythm of the dancers and drank down half the bottle in a series of large gulps. But her head began to spin and suddenly the music had become too loud and the crush of bodies around her too suffocating. She knew she had to escape before she either puked on the dance floor or burst into uncontrollable tears. But, then she saw him standing at the foot of the stairs.

She made her way across the room through the burly crowd, before she barely had time to register that her feet had even moved. "Come on," she took Zac's elbow as he stood chatting with some guy she didn't recognize. But he didn't say a word and simply followed as she led him up the stairs.

--

Zac unlocked the door to his room and then locked it back after he and Michele slipped through. He had no idea what she was doing or why he allowed himself to be dragged away from the rather pointless conversation he'd been having downstairs. After she'd left him standing alone and quite embarrassed in the center of the living room to continue her illustrious search for his brother, he'd silently resolved to be mad at her for the rest of the night. But the second he'd felt her warm hand on his arm and a sizzling tingle had danced down his spine, he'd forgotten all about being angry. Just the fact that a simple touch could enthrall him so much made him realize that he'd follow her anywhere. So, he really didn't think twice about letting her guide him up the stairs, even though his heart went into to triple time when she stopped in front of his bedroom door. He opened it silently, his stomach lurching into his throat as she took his hand and pulled him in after her. He hit the dimmer switch for his bedside lamp and bathed the room in a soft, dull light. Michele turned around to face him and the look of lust he expected, or hoped, to see in her wide blue eyes wasn't there. Instead, they were glazed and brimming with tears and her chin began to quiver as they threatened to spill over.

"She called him Tay," Michele choked, her voice watery and shaky. Zac had never seen her drunk before, but he knew she was dangerously close to losing control of her emotions. Her eyes were wild and scared and she looked vulnerable and lost.

"Who, baby? What are you talking about?" Zac asked calmly, trying to keep his voice as soft and even as he could.

"Lauren." She spat the word as though it had left a bitter taste in her mouth. Her demeanor instantly changed as a lone tear rolled down her cheek and she angrily swiped it away. "And he was holding her fucking hand and he didn't let go and he..." She couldn't control the timbre of her voice as it rose and fell with every word. "...and he invited her and he let her call him Tay...and he looked so fucking happy, Zac." She broke down as her last words escaped in a cry. Zac's arms were around her instantly, holding her tightly against his chest as her tears soaked his shirt. He rubbed gentle circles on her back as she cried wracking sobs that left her shoulders heaving and Zac wondering if she was going to make herself sick.

"Baby.." he dropped his lips to her ear, letting his breathy voice soothe her. "Shhh. It'll be okay. Don't worry." She nodded mutely against his shoulder and he felt her ragged breath begin to even out. "I'm here... I'll take care of you..." He felt her fingers tangle in the hair behind his neck and he closed his eyes.

His breath caught when he heard her sigh and then felt her warm lips on the sweaty skin of his neck. Her mouth was open, and warm and wet as it traveled the length of his collarbone. "Um...Michele..." he found it difficult to speak as her lips gently assaulted his skin and he was afraid his voice was reverting back to it's pre-change inconsistencies. "What are you doing?"

She didn't respond, but merely let her lips travel further up his neck, her tongue drawing shivers as it darted out to taste his salty skin. He knew it was wrong; wrong for her to be propositioning him when only moments earlier she'd wanted to be with Tay and wrong for him to let her continue when he knew her mind was fuzzed by alcohol. And he knew it was wrong for her to be making him feel this damn good. But he still couldn't bring himself to stop her. He didn't know if was because of his own cloudy senses or because of the way her tongue was swirling along the underside of his jaw or maybe the continual rush of blood he felt surging into his groin, but he knew it felt good. It felt better than anything he'd ever known. The rush was intoxicating and addicting and he didn't want it to end.

"I want you, Zac," her moist breath on his ear sent a shudder down his spine, and a harsh reality into his mind. He knew she didn't really want to be with him, even though the way she was sucking on his Adam's apple was providing a good argument. She was drunk and jealous and feeling unwanted, and he was just...there.

"Michele..." he finally found his voice as her hands wandered underneath his shirt, her fingers searing his already heated skin. He swallowed harshly, his stomach clenching under the attentions of her nimble fingers. "You don't....we can't...oh God..." He felt his knees buckle as her fingers trailed to his waist and tugged on the button of his jeans. He knew she had to be able to feel the heat emanating from his crotch and the by way her fingers were deftly going through the buttons, he knew it wouldn't be long before the full evidence of his arousal would be blatant beneath her fingers. And that thought alone was enough to scare him senseless and snap him back to reality.

"Chely..." He grabbed her wrists before she could delve any farther and held them tightly. He pressed his forehead to hers while he took deep, even breaths to compose his ragged breathing. "We're not gonna do this."

"Zac, don't..." she breathed, trying to free her hands from his. She pushed her lips against his, claiming them in a probing kiss, her tongue demanding as it searched for his. But he broke away with a gasp and held her more firmly to keep her body at a safe distance from his.

"Michele..." He met her lust-filled eyes and another wave of desire passed through him. He exhaled harshly, trying to conjure up any willpower he might have had left. "Listen to me, baby. We can't do this. No matter how much we want to, we can't do it."

"Don't you want me?" She asked breathlessly, her eyes wide and searching. His eyes traveled over her flushed face, groaning at how weak she was making him.

"You're drunk..." He stated simply, hoping that a palpable assertion of that fact might move to convince them both of it's validity.

"That's not what I asked..." she returned, her eyes and her voice containing a semblance of her usual self. The thought that perhaps she wasn't as drunk as he'd imagined both exhilarated and terrified him. And it filled him with an energy he didn't know he possessed. He cupped her face in his hands, his eyes dark and flashing, and sucked in a deep breath before driving his lips against hers. He separated her lips harshly with his tongue, beseeching her mouth with a ferocity and passion previously unknown to him. He felt his blood run hot as it coursed wildly through his veins and he realized he was on the verge of losing all control. He tore away with a breathless gasp, leaving her lips swollen and her eyes wide with need.

"Right now," he growled, his hot breath rasping heavily on her lips. "I want you more than I've ever wanted anything." He swallowed around the thick lump that had formed in his throat. "But I love you... and this is not gonna happen. Not like this."

Michele's head spun in the instant he tore his body from hers. Her arms fell limply to her sides as he slipped from her grasp and headed to the bathroom. She jumped when the door slammed and clenched her eyes shut when she heard the shower come on. She fell back onto his bed with a whimpering sigh and curled her knees up to her chest, tugging the comforter tightly around her suddenly cold frame.

Michele slammed her back door harshly, sending the screen door into spasms as it slapped against it's wooden frame. She chunked her briefcase on her desk, not caring that dozens of papers floated aimlessly to the floor. Her purse dropped to the floor beside the kitchen table before she fell into one of the chairs, her head instantly dropping into her hands. Aside from the headache that was stretching across her forehead, her body was wracked with fatigue and her mind heavy with worry and frustration.

She'd been working for nearly three days straight, trying to finish some layouts that she had absolutely no motivation to create. For the first time, she found herself wracking her brain for ideas, as all creativity seemed to desert her. Her sleep had been scarce and restless and full of unpleasant dreams. The agency had yet to inform her about her request and she hadn't seen Zac in three days. That fact alone was enough to bring a pool of tears to her weary eyes. They hadn't spoken since Taylor's party and she didn't know what to make of it. She knew more than likely the guys were probably busy with some music thing, but she couldn't shake the feeling that Zac was upset with her. It wasn't like him not to call. And she was far too embarrassed to even think about calling him. Drunk or not, she knew she'd clearly overstepped her bounds as a friend with her crass behavior and she wasn't very proud of herself.

And then there was Taylor; he hadn't called either. Michele supposed he was probably too busy with what's-her-name to even think about her. She had no idea what had become of them after the party. She'd fallen into a restless sleep on Zac's bed and woken up alone a few hours later, feeling sick and ashamed. After emptying her stomach in the bathroom, she'd crept quietly out of the house and driven herself home without seeing or speaking to either Zac or Taylor.

The shrill ringing of the telephone sent another jolt of pain through Michele's already throbbing head and she groaned. She started to answer it, but decided to just let the machine pick up. But when she heard Lexi's voice chime urgently over the line asking her to pick up, she reluctantly got to her feet and lifted the receiver.

"Chely, I'm so glad I caught you," Alexis breathed causing Michele to instantly furrow her brow in concern.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Lexi assured hastily. "Listen, I'm over at Ike's and they've gotta go to the studio to do an interview or something and I just remembered it's my day to pick up Andrew from day care and I don't have my car. So could you come pick me up and drive me home so I can get my car before Mom kills me." She sucked in a breath when she was done and Michele couldn't help but grin.

"Sure. I'm on my way," Michele laughed.

"Thank you *so* much, Chely," Alexis sighed in relief. "I'm sorry to have to call you cause I know you're probably tired and stuff."

"It's okay, I don't mind," Michele reassured, her forehead creasing when she thought of the implications of actually going to the Hanson house. "Hey, are the guys still around?"

"Um, I don't think so," Alexis said. "I heard them come rumbling down the stairs a few minutes ago."

Michele laughed to cover up her relief. Facing Taylor and Zac was something she wasn't prepared to do just yet. She still needed time to organize her thoughts and figure out a way to explain herself to Zac and find some way to steel herself against the emotional outburst she knew an encounter with Taylor would provoke.

"Alright then, I'll see you in a few."

--

"Thank you so much, Michele," Alexis reiterated once Michele had made it to the Hanson's. "I owe you one."

"No problem. You ready?" Alexis nodded and the two started to head out the back door, but Diana's frantic voice stopped them in their tracks.

"Lexi," she breathed, her face flushed from running down the stairs. "Oh hi, Chely," she gestured briefly to Michele who nodded shyly, before turning back to Alexis. "Could you watch the kids for a few minutes. Hanna's dad just called. Susan's going into labor and I need to go get Jessie so they can get to the hospital."

"Oh, God," Alexis said, running a worrying hand through her hair. "I've gotta pick up Andrew from school before my mom murders me for forgetting him. Chely was just gonna drive me."

"Oh," Diana said, her eyes darting as she searched for a solution. "I guess I'll just have to load them up and..."

"I can stay,'" Michele interrupted. "Lexi can just take my car and I'll stay with the kids till one of you gets back."

"You're a God-send, Michele," Diana said, grabbing her purse from the kitchen counter and heading out the back door in a flurry. "I'll be back soon."

"Ditto, chick," Lexi grinned as Michele handed over her keys. "I promise I'll be careful," she teased as she started out. "And when I get back, you gotta give me the goods on Taylor's party. I hardly saw you all night."

"Okay," Michele smiled even though she was cringing inside. She stood at the door for a few moments, watching Alexis pull out of the drive, before starting upstairs to find the kids. The phone rang before she made it to the third step and she came back down and picked up the cordless from the sofa table.

"Hello?" she said, mentally running through the procedure Taylor had taught her for how to handle a phone call from a fan.

"Um, hi? Is this Jessica?" A voice asked warily on the other end.

"No," Michele stated. "May I ask who's calling?"

"This is Lauren, Tay's friend," the voice returned and Michele felt her heart drop. "Is he around?"

"No," Michele forced her voice to stay even and calm. "He went out for an interview. Can I take a message?"

"Sure. Just tell him that he left his jacket over at my house last night," Lauren said sweetly "I don't know whether he'll be needing it or not, but he can pick it up anytime."

"I'll make sure he gets the message," Michele said through tight lips. She said a curt goodbye and nearly slammed the phone down once Lauren had hung up. She leaned against the stair banister, taking deep breaths to compose her suddenly scarce breath. She angrily swiped at a tear and swallowed around the lump in her throat before heading upstairs to find the kids.

--

"Why don't you stay for dinner?" Diana asked, once everyone had gotten home and accounted for. "You and Lexi could help me in the kitchen like we used to."

"I don't know," Michele sighed, smiling halfheartedly at Diana. On one hand she wanted to stay and do the whole family routine thing with the Hanson's. But her heart was still heavy with remorse and her reluctance to face Taylor and Zac was getting stronger every second she stayed in their house. And the phone call from Lauren had bothered her more than she would've liked to admit.

"You look tired, Chely," Diana gently touched her cheek in a motherly gesture. Michele's emotions were already on overload and the concern she saw in Diana's eyes nearly made her cry. "Come on and stay."

"Okay," Michele conceded, biting her lower lip to keep it from quivering as Diana pulled her into a comforting hug. Alexis chose that moment to enter the kitchen and playfully tugged Michele's hair as she walked past. She grinned and the girls set about making dinner. Michele began to feel better over the next hour or so as she and Alexis helped Diana get dinner ready. Her mind stayed fairly occupied by the tasks they were busy with, and by the time dinner was done and she and Lexi had ventured off to play with the kids, all thoughts of Taylor and Zac had been pushed to the back of her mind.

At least until they came barreling through the front door as Michele sat on the couch watching cartoons with Mackie and Zoe. They were laughing and playfully shoving each other but they stopped suddenly when they saw Michele. Isaac continued on in the house, receiving a kiss on the cheek from his girlfriend as she came out of the kitchen to greet him.

"Hey Chely," he called, holding up one hand in a wave as he and Alexis made their way back to the kitchen.

"Hey guys," she said quietly, her gaze still drifting from Taylor to Zac as they stood awkwardly in the entry way.

"Hey," they said simultaneously, both sets of eyes darting everywhere but near Michele. They fidgeted there for a moment or two longer before mumbling something and then slinking quietly up the stairs. Michele dejectedly turned her attention back to the TV, trying to hold back the tears until Diana announced it was time for dinner.

"Chely, you wanna go round up the boys?" Diana asked as Michele reached the entrance to the kitchen. She glanced briefly around the kitchen and found everyone accounted for except Tay and Zac.

"Um, sure," she said, turning to head up the back stairs. She knew she should've been preparing herself and thinking of something to say, but she couldn't get her brain to think clearly enough to compose any sort of rational thought. Just as she made it to the top of the stairs, Taylor's door opened and both he and Zac came strolling out.

"Um, dinner is ready," she stumbled, averting her eyes from theirs.

"Great," Zac said quickly, turning to bound down the stairs before Michele could speak further. She knew then that he was extremely pissed at her. And she knew he had every right to be. There was no excusing her behavior and she knew she owed him some sort of explanation. She just wondered if he would be willing to hear it.

"Yeah," Taylor mumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets as he started to turn around.

"Tay..." Michele surprised herself by speaking and she instantly wished she hadn't when Taylor turned around and his eyes met hers. She didn't really know what to say, so she blurted the first thing that popped into her head.

"Lauren called," she said more brusquely than she'd intended. "She said you left your jacket at her place last night." Taylor's eyes widened noticeably and a spattering of red crept onto his cheeks. That was enough to send a wave of anger and disgust through Michele, though she knew she had no real reason to be upset. "So, I guess you'll be needing to go pick it up. Excuse me." She tried to brush past him, but he grabbed her elbow and spun her around.

"It's not what you think," he said quickly, trying to lock her wandering gaze with his. "She's just a friend."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Taylor," Michele said coldly. "It's not like we're together or anything."

"I know," Taylor said softly, his hand dropping listlessly from her arm. Michele instantly felt sorry when the hurt became evident in his eyes. "But I meant it when I said I didn't wanna be with anyone else, Chely."

"Really?" Michele said snidely, thinking back to the way he'd appeared so cozy with Lauren at his party.

"Really," Taylor returned. "I know I probably didn't make the best impression at the party. But I swear to you, Michele, I'm not sleeping with her. I don't know if I even *want* to sleep with her. I know I don't wanna be doing it anytime soon. You gotta have some faith in me, Chely."

Michele sighed and bit her lower lip, trying to hold back the tears that were pooling in her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't, baby..." Taylor whispered and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly until she circled her arms tentatively around his waist. He gently rubbed her back, trying not to let himself get caught up in the gentle rhythm and the feel of her body against his. He sighed heavily and she pulled herself out of his embrace.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled and he swiped a tear with his thumb. "I didn't mean to insinuate..."

"It's okay," he smiled. "I'd probably do the same thing. 'Cept I'd probably be pulling my hair out if I knew you were with someone else."

Michele half-smiled through watery eyes. "I don't think you'll have anything to worry about, then," she said, smoothing his hair behind his ears. She stood on her toes and planted a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. "Let's go to dinner."

--

Dinner went smoother than Michele had anticipated. But, it was more or less because of Taylor. He sensed the tension between her and Zac and did everything he could to make her feel more at home. She smiled appreciatively at him every now and then and mouthed a silent 'thank you' when he squeezed her hand underneath the table in a gesture of assurance. But, as much as she felt grateful for Taylor's supportive presence, Michele couldn't help but notice how uncomfortable and tense Zac seemed. He sat slumped in his seat the entire time, picking at his food and barely making eye contact with anyone. He appeared to be deep in thought most of the time, but his eyes held a distant, vacant quality. He only spoke when he was spoken to and pretty much refused to even acknowledge Michele's presence. She was glad that the conversation mainly revolved around Diana's animated story of Susan's sudden labor and the birth of her new daughter at the hospital. She exhaled a silent breath of relief when they made it through dinner without any questions about the party or why she and Zac seemed to be avoiding each other.

"What's the story, morning glory?" Taylor's soothing voice slightly startled Michele as she stood at the sink absently washing the remaining desert dishes. She'd agreed to clean up while Diana and Walker took the kids to the hospital to see the new baby.

"Hmm? Nothing," she smiled as he shook her from her thoughts. He placed his hands on her shoulders and leaned his cheek close to hers. "Why'd you ask?"

"Cause you've been rinsing that same cup for the past 10 minutes," he said and she grinned sheepishly, noticing that she'd been more lost in her thoughts than she'd realized. "Must be something extremely interesting out there..." he gestured through the window above the sink out into the darkened backyard.

Michele followed his gaze and her eyes landed on the scene she'd be subconsciously staring at for the past half hour: the gentle swaying of the glider swing as it rocked back and forth, set into it's rhythmic motion by a figure bathed in shadows and moonlight.

"He's been out there since dinner," Taylor commented, though Michele was well aware of that fact. As soon as he'd found out most of the family was going out, Zac had practically made a bee-line out the back door. He'd planted himself in the swing and remained there, long after the sun had set. "You guys have a fight or something?"

Michele nodded, her eyes lowering to her hands as she slowly wiped them on a dish towel. She sighed heavily, debating whether to tell Taylor what had happened. "We just...I don't know, Tay..."

"So, go talk to him," he prodded, squeezing her shoulders assuringly. "You're only gonna be here for a few more days, you know. You guys shouldn't be fighting like this."

Michele nodded, letting Taylor's words sink in. Going back to Atlanta was another issue she hadn't begun to consider yet, but she knew for sure that there was no way she was going to leave without resolving things with Zac first. They'd come too far to let one silly, drunken night screw everything up again.

"Go," Taylor said again. "I'll finish up in here."

"Sure?" she turned around, glancing at him hopefully. He nodded and she gently touched his cheek before replacing her fingertips with a light kiss. "Thanks Tay."

--

The night air was chilly and Michele shivered as a rash of goose bumps stretched across her skin. She walked cautiously on the dewy grass, her eyes never leaving Zac's shadowy form. The distance from the back door to the swing was less than a dozen feet or so, but it seemed to take hours before she was finally close enough to make out Zac's features. She knew he'd heard her approaching, for the rhythm of the swing slowed down a bit before returning to it's regular pace. But he stared straight ahead, much like he'd done at dinner, and refused to look at her.

"Nice night," she whispered, trying to break the ice and strike up a conversation.

"Hmm," he murmured and Michele caught her breath to keep from sighing. She wrapped her arms around her upper body, trying to shield off the cold she suddenly felt. She blinked her eyes rapidly to ward off any would-be tears. She was getting exactly the reaction she'd anticipated from Zac, but she was still determined to smooth things over.

"Mind if I sit down?" she asked, a bit unsurely for all the confidence she thought she'd mustered. He didn't respond, but the swing began to gradually slow and he eventually brought it to a halt with his foot. Michele took the hint and slid into the seat beside him, careful not to get too close. They sat in silence for what felt like hours, the only sounds the creaking of the swing and the gentle rustle of leaves. The night sky was clear and littered with stars; a bright half-moon overhead threw a bluish glow across the vast yard, creating intricate patterns of light and dark. Michele studied them in their silence, figuring that at least Zac hadn't darted as soon as she arrived, and she had to take that as a good sign, despite the fact that he hadn't even spoken.

But soon, the silence became more than she could take. It was hard enough sitting so close to him and not having his arm draped around her or her head resting on his shoulder as was their usual custom. But the silence was killing her.

"Are you mad at me?" She decided to just come right out with it and not dance around what had been on her mind ever since the party. He didn't speak, didn't even acknowledge that she'd spoken; he just kept his eyes trained forward. Michele could feel herself getting choked up again. "Zac, please..."

"I'm not mad," he finally said, his voice even and giving away no emotion. Michele expected him to continue, but he reverted back to his sitting and staring.

"Then, what's wrong?" she said sadly, unable to resist smoothing his hair behind his ear in a soothing gesture. "Why won't you talk to me?"

"It's not..." he began, but faltered as if he were searching his mind for the proper words. "I just...I don't know what to say. I don't know what to think...about the..."

Michele's eyes lowered as an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame coursed through her. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "What happened...what *I* did...was inexcusable. I didn't...I never meant for it to go that far, Zac. I just...I wasn't thinking all that clearly and I was hurt and I just wanted..."

"You wanted to get back at Tay..." he finished for her, his eyes finally shifting to meet hers. The hurt she saw shining in his deep eyes cut to the very core of her being.

"At first," she admitted, briefly averting her eyes from his. "But then...I just got caught up in this...feeling...and...everything just got so out of control...and...I'm so sorry, Zac. I hate myself for what I did. And I hate that you're upset with me and...I just fucked everything up again..." She could feel her emotions began to give way again and she looked away, too ashamed to meet his steady gaze.

"Chely," his voice accompanied his finger beneath her chin, tilting her face back to his. "You didn't fuck anything up. It's just one of those crazy things that happens sometimes. We were messed up and...you can't blame yourself. I don't."

Instead of smiling with the relief she knew she should've been feeling, Michele's brow creased as confusion worked it's way through her mind. Mere seconds ago, Zac had been refusing to talk to her and now he was acting as though everything was perfectly fine. She knew he was upset about what happened, and she couldn't figure out why he was shrugging it off so easily.

"Okay, so why have you been avoiding me like the plague the past few days?" Michele asked incredulously. "I thought you were pissed."

He leaned forward in the seat, dropping his head in his hands and exhaling a heavy breath. His voice was muffled when he finally spoke. "I wasn't pissed, really. Just confused. And...scared."

"Scared?" Michele asked, her eyes tracing over his form. "Why?"

He sat up then, his eyes meeting Michele's in a look she couldn't identify. "That night," he began softly. "when...when we were dancing and then...when we were up in my room, I was feeling...things...that I've never felt before, things that I...couldn't hardly control." Michele felt her heart start to pound as his confession unfolded. She saw him swallow thickly before continuing. "And I...I wanted you. Like...physically *wanted* you. And the way you were...touching me and kissing me...it made me feel like I might not be able to help myself."

"Zac.." She couldn't control her racing heart and was finding it somewhat difficult to catch her breath. She couldn't believe the words she was hearing from him. She couldn't believe that he'd been feeling the same things she was.

"And I was so afraid something was gonna happen," his intense gaze relayed his meaning. "And...in a way I kinda...wanted it to." Michele could tell he was blushing, but he kept his eyes trained steadily on hers. "But I didn't want it to be like that. And I know you didn't either."

"I didn't," she said, suddenly finding it difficult to speak with his brilliant eyes boring into hers and slightly embarrassed by the heat that was flushing up into her cheeks. "That's why I feel so bad about everything and..."

His lips cut her off; suddenly pressed against hers in a kiss so sweet and tender it would've buckled her knees had she not been sitting down. She felt his fingertips gently lingering on her cheek and her eyes fluttered as her head suddenly begin to swim. Zac broke away with a shy smile and a blush and Michele had to bite her lip to control the grin that began to tug at the corners of her mouth. She couldn't keep her eyes from traveling the length of his face, from his slightly glazed eyes to his full, moist lips. She didn't know if was the time of night or the absence of light, but he looked different somehow - more grown up and thoughtful, less like the Zac she'd always known as a friend, a playful companion and sidekick to her quirky adventures. He seemed older and more experienced; more capable and worthy of something more.

"Thank you," she whispered, careful not to disturb the quiet stillness that had enveloped them. "For that..." he smiled shyly as his eyes drifted briefly to her lips. "...and for stopping..that night.."

"It wasn't easy," he confessed, smiling when he saw that Michele was trying desperately to hold back the wry grin that was dying to escape her lips. "But I didn't want it to happen like that. I mean, I wouldn't want it to be like that with any girl, but...especially with you. You mean too much to me."

Michele wanted to respond, to empty her mind and heart of all the exquisite words that his sentiments had brought forth. But she couldn't. She was too astounded, too amazed at his weighty admissions and too full of wonder and curiosity at the way they made her feel. Speechless was a foreign experience for her, but she knew no words could ever parallel the...fullness...she suddenly felt. So she resigned to just sit; a hairsbreadth away from Zac and his heartfelt, enchanting words and let her heart threaten to pound right out of her chest.

His mouth was drawing close to hers again and when she could feel his warm breath, she slowly licked her lips in anticipation. His lips dropped carefully onto hers, capturing them in a light feathery kiss. Michele sighed, a tiny whimpering sigh that sent Zac's heart into overtime as his lips begin to gently move against hers.

"Zacky!" The high-pitched squeal coming from the direction of the house tore Zac away from Michele. He looked over her shoulder in time to see Zoe bounding out the back door, waving her arms and shrieking. But Michele kept her eyes on him, tracing over his profile, running the memory of his lips over and over in her mind. And even as Zoe planted herself between them and began her animated tale of seeing the new baby, all Michele could think of was Zac's beautiful words and his dizzying touch, and the overwhelming warmth that she couldn't keep from spreading through her body.