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Piece of my heart
Come on, Come on, Come on, Come on,
And take it,
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The next day, I was awakened by a crash of thunder, which was soon followed by the sound of maintenance guys lowering the metal shutters over the windows. Sometime during the night, the storm had rolled in and Zac had rolled out. I didn't know when he had left, but he had. Once, I was awake I had been unable to fall back asleep (mostly because my arm and knee hurt fairly badly and well, the sound of the wind whistling under the shutters was fairly eerie), so I was sitting on the floor in my hotel room leaning against the bed wondering where my recent behavior had come from. What had suddenly changed to make what I had done even an option? But the larger question was, where was I going to find the strength to stop it before it went any farther? How could I justify what I had done with the boys who were my bosses? I was so confused.
And guilty. I don't think I've ever felt so guilt ridden in my entire life. This morning when Walker called to find out how things were going, I’d sounded like a complete idiot, stuttering and stammering into the phone. He'd asked me several times if I was okay. Really, other than being tired what could I tell him. I could just imagine a truthful conversation...
Mr. Hanson: How have you been, Cleo?
Me: Well for starters, in the last 36 hours I've alienated Isaac to the point that he won't talk to me or even look at me. I yelled at sweet, loving, innocent Taylor and made him cry, he hasn't come out of his room yet, so he's probably holed up in there writing some sad and tragic song about the pain of love. And Zac? Well, I almost deflowered him. But other than that, I'm great. And yourself?
I'm not sure that would go over very well, so I stuck with the 'Fine, just a little tired' approach. He said he understood and warned me not to wear myself out. He also mentioned Diana would be off her crutches in about 10 days. And then the whole family would be joining us on the road. I guess he was just warning me to not get too comfortable on the super plush bus, ‘cause soon I’d be riding with the rest of the hired help. Still, my behavior was so obviously different when he talked to Isaac he must have asked about me. I heard Isaac say as far as he knew nothing was wrong (yeah, Ike, lie for me... That makes me feel so much better). But, Ike did mention we were all really, really tired. I cringed as I thought about my inability to play it cool. I'm a really bad liar. Never ask me to be an alibi if you plan to skip out on something. You can see through me like grease on a paper plate.
So, I had spent the morning in my room charging the rechargeable batteries to each of my electronic appliances and about 2 hours trying to rinse the whipped cream out of my hair (which is next to impossible when my hair is as long as it is and I can only use one hand and a stupid little cup for water.). I had wandered out to the main room twice and both times, I had fled back to my room as quickly as possible. The first time was when Walker called and I could feel Isaac sitting behind me drilling holes through my skull with his eyes. And the second time, I went to get some food and ran into a half-naked and red-eyed Taylor. It had been so obvious that he had been crying I just couldn't take it. As I rushed back into my room, I almost ran full bore into Zac. Oh, I was batting a thousand. So, I had laid on my bed reading my book and mostly feeling sorry myself. Until the electricity went out. At precisely 6:29 p.m., the room went dark. So, I did what any red blooded American girl would do, I turned on my laptop and began to play computer games. I was playing about my 200th game of Minesweeper (three and a half hours later, yes, I’d managed to spend an entire day in a hotel room with Isaac, Taylor and Zac and only see each of them once for just a few minutes), when the door to my room was flung open. To my surprise a very serene looking Taylor stood before me. “I'm bored,” Taylor said as he flopped across my bed. “This is the most boring city in the entire world.”
“Tay, the city isn't boring,” I said quietly. I wasn't going to admit I was bored as I played my 201st mind-numbing game of Minesweeper. I never played video games (mostly ‘cause I truly sucked), but sometimes, I played games on my computer. Mostly I liked to play solitaire with actual cards. “It's just the weather totally sucks and the fans in this city are a little rabid.”
“Zac says he's not leaving the room again the entire time we're here... Did you see the chick with the scissors and the sign that read: “Zac: Give me some hair?” He's terrified she actually will get some hair and make some sort of scary voodoo doll or something. And he basically hasn't left his room the entire day... He said he's tired, that he had a long night.... And well, Isaac has been in his room all day writing a very angry sounding song... ” Taylor said hanging his head over the side of the bed watching my game. His face was so close to mine I could feel his breath on my cheek. This closeness while not entirely unwelcome, was quite surprising. I thought he was still mad at me, but if he wanted to pretend nothing had happened, then so be it. We have always been good at pretending. But really, how long would he be able to ignore the huge white bandage on my knee and the purple cast on my wrist. I wouldn't think of that know, I would just glory in his presence. A presence that I craved in a wholly unexpected way. As per usual, he smelled like cologne, coffee and Colgate. I was uncomfortably aware of how close he was. “Don't go there, that's a bomb.” He said as I clicked on a box and I’ll be damned if it wasn't a bomb. Disgusted, I started to put my laptop away. “Hey, let's log onto the ‘net.”
“Oh?” I asked as I hooked my cell phone up to my laptop and hit connect. Well, if he wants to pretend nothing happened last night, then two can play that game. And really, haven't we played that game all along? Maybe I can play it cool... “And pray tell, what will we do on the ‘net?”
“I don't know, we could... look up porn.” He whispered in my ear. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. I wondered if he was as acutely aware of me as I was of him. ‘Cause if he was, he wasn't going to be getting up and walking out of the room any time soon.
“Uh... Let me think...” I said pretending to ponder the request. “No, I don't think so...”
“Come on! I want to...” Taylor said rolling over as my homepage loaded. “I mean Zac says there are some awesome free sites out there...”
“He isn't 18, he shouldn't be on those sites.” Taylor snorted derisively. It's true, there isn't really any way to know who anyone really is on the Internet. Of course, he had to go to the free sites, ‘cause if a porn site showed up on his credit card bill, his father would kill him. Still, I wondered why he hadn't stolen Isaac or Taylor's credit cards and subscribed with that. That sounds like something he would do. A joke where no one would really get hurt and just funny enough that he could laugh about it for days. Especially after his brother had gotten a lecture about inappropriate reading materials... “We could surf the Hanson sites and read a bunch of fanfic, see if they come anywhere near reality...” I said scrolling down my start page.
“Hey, back up.” Taylor said pointing to one of the sites prominently displayed on my start page. “A long slow screw against a Mexican wall? A sour pussy? A screaming orgasm? I thought you were against porn?”
“Tay, this is one of the last vestiges of Jarrod, well and my days as bartender at sorority parties...” I said shrugging. “It's Webtender, basically a recipe book for alcoholic drinks.”
“You drink?”
“I have.”
“Are these any good?” He said his finger pointing to a Screaming Orgasm.
“Yeah, I guess...” I said pulling up the site which had hundreds of drinks listed. “Some of these are really, really good, others not so good. Most of the time, liquor just tastes like Nyquil to me.”
“I want to try some of these.”
“Are you telling me that you've never drank?”
“No,” Taylor said smirking. “I've had beer and wine, but never anything hard. And I've never been drunk.”
“Hmm, what should we start with?” I asked as I scrolled through the thousands of entries. “Actually, other than the stuff in the mini bars, we're pretty limited.”
“I’ll be right back.” Taylor said jumping up and rushing out of my room leaving me sitting in a cloud of Coolwater. I leaned my head back against my bed and imagined how warm and boy like his skin would smell. I don't know how long I sat there with my head leaning back against my bed, but it was long enough for me to start dozing off. Suddenly, the door flew open and a breathless Taylor came through with his arms loaded. “Okay, I think we have most of what we need here...” He said dropping a couple shopping bags, a bag of ice, a cutting board, a salt shaker and some oranges. When I picked up the oranges, he just shrugged. “No limes...”
“Taylor, do you want to get drunk?”
“Yes...” He said shrugging his shoulder. “What else do we have to do?”
“So, what do you want to start with?” I said opening my mini bar and pulling out everything contained within. As I started to line up the different mini bottles, he grabbed one of the bags off the bed and dumped out a bunch more mini bottles. “Wow where'd all these come from?”
“My room and Zac’s room.” He said lining up all the different liquors. He grabbed the other bag and pulled out some coke, lemonade, sparkling water, cranberry juice, orange juice...
“How much stuff did you grab?” I asked as he continued to pull stuff out of the bag.
“Anything I thought sounded good...” He said holding up a can of Dr. Pepper.
“Ugh! Nothing sounds good with Dr. Pepper...”
“Really?”
“Really...” I said rooting through all the stuff he'd raided from all the different room. We now had quite a stash. Taylor quickly lit some candles and I turned off the electric lantern, the room was bathed in a very warm and comforting glow. I did a quick inventory. 3 bottles of Jose Cuervo, 3 bottles of Absolut, 3 bottles of Kahlua, 3 bottles of Tanqueray, 3 bottles of Bailey’s Irish Creme, 3 bottles of Seagrams 7, 3 bottles of Grand Mariner, 3 bottles of Southern Comfort.... Southern Comfort? I reached into my mini fridge and pulled out some garnishes. I had green olives, pickled onions, maraschino cherries... “Okay, we're gonna start out with something that tastes really good...”
“What?” Taylor said handing me two glasses filled with ice.
“We're gonna have some Comfort Sours.” I said opening 2 of the bottles of Southern Comfort and pouring them over the ice. “Hand me some lemonade...” I filled the glasses up the rest of the way with lemonade and dropped a couple of cherries into each glass.
“Hey!” Taylor said a confused look crossing his face. “ I thought only virgins had cherries...”
“Ha ha...” I said. “Not just virgin drinks have cherries... This is one of my favorites.” I said taking a huge gulp of the drink. I fished one of the cherries out of my drink and popped in my mouth. “Tay, do you want to see a neat trick?”
“Sure.” He said practically finishing his drink in one long swig. “That's not bad... A little sweet, but not bad...”
“Okay, now watch closely.” I said holding up the stem to my cherry and then popping it into my mouth. I grabbed one end of the stem between my front teeth and with my tongue, I wrapped the other end around it and formed a knot. I reached up and pulled the now knotted cherry stem out of my mouth. “Tada!”
“Wow, that is a talent...” He said finishing off his first drink. “You have a very talented mouth...”
“It's all in the tongue...” I said grabbing 2 Kahlua, 2 Bailey’s Irish Creme and 2 Grand Mariner. I leaned across Taylor and grabbed 2 clean glasses and carefully poured the Bailey’s in the bottom of the glass, followed by the Kahlua and then I floated the Grand Marnier on top. It was a lovely layered drink and one of my specialties. “Okay, now this is called a B-52... You don't sip this... You slam it back in one shot.”
“Okay?” Taylor said not quite. “You go first.”
“Cheers.” I said holding my drink up and then I threw back the drink. I swallowed hard and then smiled at Taylor as the familiar burn slid down my throat and then spread out from my stomach. He lifted his glass just as I had a moment before and poured his drink back.
“That is so good!” He said. “Make another one...”
“I can make you one...” I said going through the pile of mini bottles spread out before me. “I only have one of each of the different liqueurs I need...”
“Oh, I’ll be right back...” Taylor said jumping up and running out of the room one more time. Wow, we had a serious amount of liquor. We could get really, really drunk if we wanted. Taylor came running back his hands loaded with even more liquor.
“Where did you get those?” I asked as he dumped them in my lap.
“Um... I snuck into Ike’s room and stole them.” Taylor said sitting next to me again and sorting through the newest additions to our stash. “Ike is dead to the world...”
“Good, I don't need another lecture from him... You want another B-52?” I asked. He shook his head. “Okay... Go get a pitcher...” He jumped up and ran out to get what I needed. I will definitely be milking my injuries for all they were worth. I quickly layered two more B-52’s and handed him one as he sat back down next to me. “So, what should we do?” I asked as I began to mix a colossal pitcher of Long Island Iced Tea.
“Um...” Taylor said leaning his head back. “Truth or dare?”
“What?” I asked as I poured the all four of the bottles of vodka into the pitcher. I listened as the ice gave some satisfying pops. I uncapped all of the tequila, rum and gin.
“Truth or dare?” He repeated gathering up the discarded bottles and lids.
“Okay, truth.” I said, topping off the mostly full pitcher with some Coke and a splash of lemonade. I held my breath afraid of the question that would fall from his mouth.
"Truth? How boring.” He said, leaning his head back against my bed, as I poured him a large glass of the potent drink out of the very full pitcher. “Okay, what do you really think of my hair?”
“Your hair?” I repeated laughing out loud. “My hell Taylor, that is a ridiculous question...”
“Maybe, but according to the rules of truth or dare, you have to answer it....”
“I do not!!” I said taking a huge swallow of my drink. Wow, it was strong. He gave me a look over the top of his glass. “Okay, okay.... It's hair, Taylor. Dead cells. It's as good as dead cells can be...”
“Well, are my dead cells as good as say, Zac’s?” Taylor asked watching me closely.
“Taylor, sweetie, you don't want to go there. No one's dead cells are as good as Zac’s...” I said watching his lip protrude slightly, unconsciously. Oh my poor perfect Taylor, not so flawless as we all thought.... “Sorry, but it's the truth.... So, Taylor, truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“Okay....” I said taking a sip off of my drink. Man, these were strong. We would both be slammed in no time at all. As I looked down a slightly stick lock of my hair fell in front of my eyes. “Okay, this isn't your question, but you think you could braid my hair? I can't with this lovely cast on...”
“Sure.” He said climbing onto the bed behind me. He ran his fingers over my cheeks and neck, gathering my hair into his hands. I felt his cool fingers running through my hair, separating it into sections, weaving it into a braid. His hands felt strong and sure. His mother had taught him how to braid when I was a wild tomboy with my hair in messy, uncontrolled knots. She would sit me down in front of her and gently brush out my hair. Then she would braid it, something my mother could never find the time to do and place a kiss on top of my head when she finished. He wrapped an elastic around the end and laid the rope over my shoulder. His fingertips gently brushed over my collar bone as he place a kiss on the crown of my head. “So?”
“I'm thinking.” I said as he moved back next to me on the floor and topped off both of our drinks. I was definitely feeling the alcohol. “Okay... What really happened to my Malibu Barbie?”
“Let's see, would this be the Barbie you claimed I shaved the head of?” He asked.
“Yes...”
“Would that be the same Barbie my father ran over with the lawnmower?”
“Uh huh?”
“The one you set on fire?” He asked. I nodded in agreement. “The Barbie that was missing for almost a year before you even noticed?”
“Yeah, that one...” I said leaning my head back and looking over at him. In the candlelight, he practically glowed.
“Um... Thad nailed it to a tree in the woods behind your house.” He said. “And we used it for target practice with Jarrod’s beebee gun... I think it's probably still hanging on a tree in the back yard...”
“Very fitting end to a very traumatic life....” I said laughing. “Still, I did miss it eventually....”
“Cleo, truth or dare?” Taylor said finishing off his drink and refilling his glass. His words were already starting to slur together and his cadence was changing.
“Um, dare...” I said smiling over at him.
“Dare? Really?” Taylor said rubbing his hands together. “And you have to do what I say?”
“Within reason, remember, I'm the walking wounded...” I said holding up my cast. “And, I will not be taking off any clothes...”
“Well, then what can I dare you to do?” He said flopping backwards onto the floor. I noticed that his graceful fluid movements were slowly being replaced with the slow bumbling movements of someone who'd had too much to drink.
“Okay, truth...” I said giving in to the urge to lay down. We had finished an entire pitcher of very strong Long Island Iced tea. I crawled up next to Taylor and laid on my side.
“Do you think I'm sexy?”
Oh man, he had given me an opening that I just couldn't resist. I started to sing, “do you think I'm sexy? and you want my body...”
“Cleo, Cleo....” Taylor said putting his hand over my mouth. “Stop singing...” I stopped and he moved his hand from my mouth. “I think the lyrics are “if you think I'm sexy...” And really, promise me you'll never sing again....”
“Okay.” I said propping myself up on my elbow and rooting through the remaining mini bottles. Until I found the four little bottles of Jack Daniel's. Now, I'm not a big bourbon fan, but there is just something about a shot of Jack to put you over the edge. “Do I think you're sexy?”
“Yes, that's what I said.”
“Yes, Taylor I find you abso-fucking-luetly irresistible...” I said in between mini bottles.
“Really?” He said rolling over onto his stomach and taking the offered mini bottle.
“Yes, Taylor.” I said rolling my eyes. “You can count me among the millions of adoring fans. In fact, I can't believe I’d never noticed how sexy you were before.”
“Are you mocking me?” Taylor asked.
“No, really...” I said. “In the last two days, I've seen you in an entirely different light...”
“And what light would that be?” He said shuddering as he swallowed the strong Jack Daniel's and licking his lips. My eyes focused on his lips. They were so sweet and pouty. I just wanted to lean over and suck on them
“Well, right now, it's candlelight...” I said laying flat on my stomach. I was drunk. And not just a little drunk. “Truth or dare?”
“Dare.” Taylor said reaching over and rubbing my back. It felt so good for him to rub my back, I didn't realize how tense I had gotten.
“I dare you to give me a back rub....” I said relaxing under his hands.
“Cleo, give me a real dare.” He said sitting up.
“Okay...” I said rolling onto my back and scooting over so my head was in his lap. I was looking up at him. He was so pretty with his eyes slightly glazed and his cheeks flushed from the alcohol. Really, all he needed was some lipstick and he would be a drop dead gorgeous girl... “I dare you to put on a skirt and some lipstick and do a dance for me...”
“A skirt?” He asked.
“Okay, no skirt...” I said hauling myself off the floor. I almost fell over backwards. I was seriously drunk. “But, you need to put on some of my “come-fuck-me-red” lipstick.”
“Your what?” He asked as he stumbled over to where I was digging through one of my suitcases.
“You heard me...” I said as I finally laid my hands on the tube of blood red lipstick. “Here, put this on...” He took the tube of very expensive lipstick and smeared it across his lips and chin. Really, he was far too drunk to be applying lipstick, but... He looked adorable.
He grabbed me around the waist and began to sing to me. “Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on!” He said picking me up and setting me down on the bed. “Didn't I make you feel like you were the only woman - yeah!/An' didn't I give you nearly everything that a man possibly can ?” He sat down next to me and ran his callused fingers along my hairline, smoothing back the wild curly hairs around my face. “Honey, you know I did!/ And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I've had enough,” Taylor leaned down and placed a kiss on my nose. “But I'm gonna show you, baby, that this man can be tough...”
“Taylor...” I whispered.
“What?” He asked leaning over me.
“Truth or dare?” I asked.
“No, it's my turn.” Taylor said leaning down and grabbing random mini bottles. “Truth or dare, Cleo?”
“Dare.” I said accepting a mini bottle and opening it. I tipped back the bottle and swallowed the liquid, I felt the familiar warmth spread out from my stomach and into my limbs. It was official. I was drunk. “But remember, I'm not taking off any of my clothing...”
“Kiss me.” He said. I turned to look at him lying on the bed, an empty mini bottle in his hand. I leaned down to him and kissed him. I placed my lips against his lips and knew immediately how this was going to end. I was moving down a road that felt too familiar, but I wouldn't think of that now. Unlike the frantic arms, legs and lips of the night before with Zac, this was a kiss that could go nowhere but down one road. Taylor pulled away from me, putting a hand on either side of my face. “Cleo, are you sure you don't want to take off any clothes?”
“Positive.” I said, my hands finding the bottom of his shirt and trying to pull it off over his head. He laughed as I struggled because of the cast on my left hand.
“Here, let me help you.” He said standing up. He quickly shed his shirt and knelt on the floor in front of me between my knees helping me to remove my own shirt. “Cleo....”
“Truth or dare?”
“Truth?”
“Do you love me?”
“Yes...” I said breathlessly as his hands moved over my body, over my bare overheated skin.
“I love you too...”