We'll forget the tears we cried

Wait

I feel as though
You ought to know
That I've been good
As good as I can be
And if you do
I'll trust in you
And know that you
Will wait for me

But if your heart breaks
Don't wait, turn me away
And if your heart's strong
Hold on, I won't delay

Wait till I come back to your side
We'll forget the tears we've cried

It's been a long time
Now I'm coming back home
I've been away now
Oh how, I've been alone

"I thought you were exhausted." A sweaty and breathless Taylor breathed into my neck. He lay atop me, all of our limbs entangled, our chests heaving in concert. He rolled over, pulling me to face him; he reached out and smoothed my hair back over my shoulder, leaning forward to kiss my shoulder. I smiled at how he showered my shoulder and neck with feather soft kisses. We lay side by side in my bed a small ocean of contentment. "I was under the impression that you were going to be asleep before we even got to the bed."

"Well, with for the correct enticement, sleep can wait." I said hooking my leg over him, pressing our bodies tightly together, loving the feel of skin against skin. Behind me, there was the telltale trail of clothing from the front door. I guess the drive home really energized Taylor and I; I was barely on the stairs when Taylor started sticking his hand up my shirt. But really, this felt like such a fitting end to a highly emotional day. "Welcome home my sexy baby."

A soft silence blanketed the room, warming us. I listened to his soft breathing and almost silent humming as his hands traced intricate patterns on my back, spelling out words that only he would ever know. We just lay there, face to face watching each other's eyes. Each blink seemed to get longer and longer, each time I thought he was asleep his eyes would pop open again. Too blue to be real, too clear to be otherwise. I loved how perfectly content his eyes looked, loved the way I looked reflected in his eyes. This was heaven.

Somewhere buried within all of my happiness, there was that tiny kernel of panic nibbling at my heels. How were we going to make all of this right? What were we going to do to get over this? I smoothed the hair sticking to his cheeks and forehead back. It all had to be okay. It just had to be. The happy glow in his eyes this minute was what I lived for. I sighed again. "Are we going to stay here?" Taylor asked.

"Well, I was planning on sleeping sometime," I said kissing the hollow of his throat, pressing the length of my body against him. "Unless you have other plans…"

"That's not what I meant." Taylor said sweeping my hair back over my shoulder, draping us in a curtain of my long, curly hair.

"Where are we going to live after we get married?" Taylor asked quietly. I sensed desperation in that question I found surprising. I guess from his own island of contentment, he had some niggling doubts plaguing him as well. "Are we just going to live in this apartment? Or what?"

"I hadn't thought about that." I said shrugging. I really hadn't thought of that at all. Again, another way I'm not the typical girl. Emory had a dream wedding outlined in her head. She knew what she wanted her dress to look like, what she wanted the cake to look like, what she wanted her bouquet to look like; she knew it all. And when she and Isaac started planning their house, she had a dream house.

Whenever I thought of living with Taylor, I had the immediate image of 78th Street. I see us meeting in the middle of the street and deciding to play house and commandeering the tree house. Every once in a while, I'd get a wild hair and decide I needed to be more girlish. I would suddenly realize I was more like a boy than a girl. I would then recruit the boys to play house with me. This involved Isaac being my husband, Taylor, Jarrod and Thad being my kids and Zac being the dog.

It was also inevitable any game of house quickly descended into a game of Fag Tag or Smear The Queer. Maybe those games weren't politically correct, but we were kids and those hateful words were just words. They held no meaning for us. I wondered if when Jarrod looks back at those times and cringes. I wonder if he already knew what those words meant and that he was just so different from all of us. Taylor smiled at me, "what are you thinking?"

"It's just May, we have a while before that is even a relevant question." I said smiling back. Sometimes, I didn't know how I got lost in my little tangents. I was so glad that no one could see the inside of my head. I moved my fingers softly over the planes of his face, loving the rough feel of his beard.

"True, but really, once Ike and Em get married we have only two weeks before I leave for three months or longer." Taylor said his hands moving softly over my shoulders and down my arms. "And you realize that you are coming with us. I meant what I said in New York, you are never staying behind again."

"I don't want to be left behind. I never wanted to stay home, but I didn't know what we could do about you mom and dad." I said sighing and melting into him. Here we lay doing the exact thing his parents most feared. His breath was evening out, but I could feel his heart beating in his chest. I felt him shift slightly, almost as if the mention of his parents during this intimate moment was uncomfortable. "Well, do you want to build?"

"Oh God, no." Taylor said shaking his head. "I in no way shape or form want to become as annoying as Ike."

"Not a possibility." I said sighing. The thought of all the energy and time Emory and Isaac had poured into that house just made me tired. I didn't want to live in this stuffy little apartment over the Greek restaurant. A better apartment? Maybe. A condo? Always a possibility. "Can we just buy a house? One that's already finished."

"Sure," Taylor said shrugging. I hoped that he hadn't wanted to stay here, but knowing him, he probably did. He sighed, a crooked smile on his lips. I watched as the blue of his eyes fluttered in and out of sight. He was fighting to stay awake. "Where do you want to live? Here? LA? The moon?"

"I don't know." I said sighing sleepily. Where did I want to live? Anywhere he was. "What about Jenks?"

"Brilliant," He mumbled, "You my dear are inspired. I can think of nowhere else in the world I want to live." We both settled into silence again. The only sound issuing from either of us was the gently in and out flow of breath. Our limbs that had fit so perfectly only moment before, suddenly felt awkward and all wrong. He shifted pulling his arm out from under me. "Cleo, I'm tired."

"Me too." I sighed. I was floating along in the twilight of a Tulsa dawn. I rolled over and felt Taylor slide in behind me, spooning me automatically. He pulled the blankets tight around us. We were enfolded in our own perfect world, where all that mattered was he and I. "I love you."

"Love you too." He said his voice barely a whisper as his breathing evened out. It was so good to be home, so good to be in my own bed, so good to have Taylor's arms around me. It was all good. The last thing I remembered as I slipped into the ether was slurring the words "all good."

I am young. I am standing on a hill. I can see all of Tulsa spread out before me, loving the wide-open blue skies and wide-open blue eyes of the boy standing next to me.

I am a young girl running through fields of tall, wild grasses and wildflowers following, endlessly following Thad. I call after the boy running, endlessly running down the hill. I call again, panic setting in that I will never catch up to him before he disappears forever. He finally stops and turns towards me but when he turns, he isn't Thad. It is Taylor. Taylor smiles at me, motioning for me to follow him. I look down, I'm not a child, I'm an adult wearing a lovely flowing white dress. "Cleo, hurry…" He called back to me from far away. "Cleo, you have to stay caught up. Cleo, there's someone here…"

"Cleo, there is someone at the door." I heard Taylor mumble very close to my ear.

"What?" I asked rolling over to face him. His face was all sleepy and slack, his blond hair a messy halo around his face. I missed his warmth behind me.

"Someone is knocking on the door." He said stretching and rolling over onto his other side, away from me.

"So?" I asked sliding in behind him trying to recapture his warmth. He shivered slightly; he was missing my warmth as well. This simple fact made me feel so good. The knocking started up again. It was really quite insistent. Somewhere in another world or another room, my cell phone was ringing. "I don't think they're leaving." He sighed. Just as he said this, the knocking stopped. There was blessed silence for a few minutes. I felt myself returning to the land of nod. But, the knocking began again, louder and much more insistent than before. I would have sworn there were two sets of hands. Taylor sighed exasperated. "Aren't you going to get that?"

He was in a bad mood this morning. He could just kiss the surprise I had planned for him goodbye.

"Fine, I'll get it." I said swinging my feet off the bed. I jammed my glasses on as I stretched, yawning, my back popping and cracking. I found a t-shirt on the floor and fished a pair of panties out of a drawer. I hopped down the hall struggling to get my clothes on. I noticed our discarded clothes were pretty much everywhere. I looked through the peephole. All I saw was black, Zac had to be here. He was one of the only people I knew who consistently put his finger over the peephole. I think he wanted to scare me or surprise me. Like I didn't know it was Zac. Whatever. "What in the hell do you want?" I said in a very nasty voice.

"Well, I asked if you minded taking Zac to see your dad today," Diana said a surprised look on her face. "And I thought I'd come and bring my wayward son home with me."

"Yeah Cleo, did you forget that you were taking me to see you dad today?" Zac asked a smug smirk on his face. He was so sure that Tay was about to get in trouble he was practically gleeful.

"No, I didn't." I said stepping aside so that Diana could come in. I tried to shut the door on Zac. "I just didn't realize it was going to be at the crack of dawn…"

"Not dawn, it's eleven." Zac said pushing his way in the room. "Cleo, someone must have broken into your apartment and stole this last night, cause I found it on the top step." He held up the bra I'd had on the day before. "And from the looks of the floor in here, that same person spread your clothes – oh, and Tay's clothes – all over the floor."

"Shut up." I said under my breath. "Why are you always trying to cause trouble?"

"Where's Taylor?" Diana asked looking around the living room as if she expected him to be asleep on the couch.

"He's still in bed." I said. That sentence suddenly sounded so wrong and so dirty. I had just admitted to Diana that Taylor was in my bed. I felt a blush spreading up my neck and across my cheeks.

"Oh," Diana said a look of shock on her face. I felt the level of everyone's discomfort go up about ten notches. Well, everyone but Zac, he was giggling gleefully.

"We… uh… we stayed up and… uh… talked…” I stammered knowing I sounded like an idiot; Zac snorted so loudly I jumped. "As I was saying, we stayed up for a while, so we slept in…"

"You'd better hope Tay is covered." Zac whispered into my ear. "I totally know your propensity towards sleeping naked."

"Oh God," I mumbled. "Diana, I don't think Taylor's awake yet." I yelled down the hall as her hand landed on the doorknob. I ran down the short hallway to her trying unsuccessfully to get between her and the door. "He was totally wiped out when we finally climbed into bed."

"Nothing, I was just agreeing that he must have been wiped out after the day he had yesterday." Zac said smiling at me.

"Anyway, I thought I'd take Taylor home while you take Zac to see your dad." Diana said pushing the door open. I cringed hoping Taylor had pulled the blankets up over his bare ass. Luckily he had. Diana walked around to the side of the bed and settled on the edge. She reached out and pushed Taylor's hair out of his face. A small smile settled on her face, she looked so happy. She leaned forward and gave Taylor a kiss on the forehead. "Wake up sleepy head."

"Nothing, I just came to pick you up." Diana said smoothing her hands over his unruly hair. "Take you home. I've missed you… And Cleo said she'd take Zac over to see her dad."

"Huh?" He said. He looked around the room and noticed Zac and I standing at the foot of the bed. Where he was and what we'd been doing just a few hours ago seemed to dawn on him slowly like the pink creeping up his neck and onto his cheeks. "Oh, okay…"

"I could have come out to pick up Zac and drop Tay off." I offered lamely. "I mean I have to go out there sometime today anyway…"

"Well, his appointment is at 12:30 and you obviously weren't on your way yet." Diana said smiling at me. I could feel her mild disapproval washing over me. "Anyway, I wanted to pick up some stuff from the house on 78th Street. The big family barbeque is at the end of this week. Emory's family will be getting here on Saturday and we're going to have everyone at the house on Sunday."

"Yeah, I think there will be over 200 people there." Diana said. "Everyone who has ever meant anything to Isaac. Even your parents will be there."

"Those poor unsuspecting people." I said shaking my head. As someone who has spent more than a little time at parties attended by the entire Hanson clan, I can honestly say they are loud and insane and more than a little overwhelming. Emory's family really had a complete shock coming. "They are coming from Ireland to be greeted by the Hanson hordes. It will be interesting to say the least."

"Well, if they're going to be family." Diana said shrugging. "I was going to make sure they felt welcome. So, I thought they needed to meet everyone and see how much they loved and accepted Emory."

"I have already ordered about 200 pounds of hamburger and I think I ordered an entire pig to make pulled pork barbeque sandwiches." Diana said swiping her hair off of her face. She looked so tired. Yesterday was a very long day for all of us. "I have about twenty five people making different types of salads. Avery and Jessica offered to make brownies and cookies. I hope we have enough food."

"I think they might be." I said shrugging. "But they can eat hamburgers even if they are. But not cheese burgers, can't mix the meat and the milk."

"Good, I'm glad I didn't get the hotdogs." Diana said smiling. She stood up and gently smacked Taylor on the thigh. "Come on, what are you waiting for? Let's get going."

"I've seen boxers before." She said rolling her eyes as she gathered her purse off the floor. "I probably washed those boxers."

"Oh," Diana said her eyes growing wide. "Oh, okay… I'll be in the living room. Zac, come with me."

"Nice Tay," Zac said as he walked out of the room. Before he cleared the door he turned and looked t me. "I was surprised Cleo got as much clothing on as she did before opening the door."

"That was bad," Taylor said sitting up. "I mean she has to know that we sleep together… Why do you think she acts so surprised every time?"

"I don't know." I said watching him stand up and stretch. He had such a beautiful body, so smooth and lithe. I watched as the muscles on his stomach and hips moved and flexed. "Damn, I think I need a shower of the cold variety."

"Yeah?" Taylor asked raising an eyebrow at me. "I could tell my mom that I want to stay and you can drive me out."

"Okay," I said watching him saunter towards me. He stopped inches from me, so close and yet so far. I reached out, running my fingers down his chest. I leaned forward to give him a kiss. Soon, we were kissing passionately, Diana and Zac be damned. "Oh God."

"Cleo…" he moaned pulling me over toward the bed. When his legs hit the bed, he fell over backwards, pulling me on top of him. "I want to stay with you."

I slumped against Taylor's chest sighing, I took a deep breath then screwed up my face. "Ew… you stink." I said sitting up. "I stink too. I'm gonna go take a shower."

"Okay," Taylor said covering his eyes with the palms of his hands. "I'll see you later, right?"

"Absolutely." I said leaving a very naked Taylor lying on my bed. "What time do you have to be there?"

"We need to be to your dad's office at 12:30." Zac said from where he's sprawled across the couch surfing through all the channels at such a fast pace I couldn't believe he was getting anything out of it.

"Okay, I'm going to jump into the shower," I said pushing the bathroom door open.

"Would you please?" Zac asked smiling at me. "You and Tay are both pretty ripe."

"Thanks Diana," I said as I pulled the door closed behind me. I shed my clothes and turned on the water. I stepped into the shower and sighed loving the feel of the warm water. I had just tipped my head back to wet my hair when the door to the bathroom squeaked open. I watched as Taylor stepped into the bathroom. "Hey sexy…"

"Why are you apologizing?" I said as the water fell over my head. "It happens to the best of us."

"Cleo, while you were sleeping, I was thinking." Taylor said his voice distant and quiet with the sound of rushing water surrounding me.

"Didn't you sleep?" I asked jumping out of the stream of suddenly hot water. "Taylor! Don't flush when someone is showering!"

"S'okay. I actually understand about bugging your brothers." I said pulling the shower curtain back so I could look at him. He was leaning against the wall, watching me. He smiled sheepishly, his eyebrow raising as I exposed myself. "Why didn't you sleep?"

"I kept thinking about things..." He said looking down at his shoes. I could see that he didn't want to talk about here. He stood his hands in his pockets. He opened his mouth to say something and stopped. He bit his lip looking up at me through his eyelashes. "Things about us."

"Things sounds scary." I said reaching out and touching his cheek. I hated that he looked so sad again. Last night, we had found an oasis that was comfortable and surrounded us in happiness. For a few glorious hours, we had discovered what it was to be joyful. As cheesy as it sounds, it was only in him and with him that I found my bliss. I had always made fun of girls who said that the man in their life was there everything and yet, I was in the same place. Last night, had been a small slice of heaven. But even in the middle of all that joy, I knew it was going to come to an end. And apparently, those moments of pure joy were very short lived for him.

"We'll talk later." He said looking at me and smiling. He leaned forward and gave me firm kiss. He reached out and pulled my wet hair down over my shoulder. It touched the crease of my thigh. "You know, when your hair is wet, it looks so much longer."

"Cause it's not obnoxiously curly." I said pulling the curtain closed after giving him a final kiss.

"It looks almost as long as before…" Taylor said coming dangerously close to mentioning the day we never talk about. "Well, as long as before you cut it."

"No, it was to my knees back then." I said sighing. "I don't think I can ever get it that long again."

"Will you promise to never cut it again?" Taylor asked as he pulled the door open.

"Tay, I can't promise that…" I said sighing as he stepped out of the bathroom.

"Fine, just don't cut it too short." He said as he pulled the door shut. I finished my shower thinking about what Taylor had almost mentioned. That day. THE day. I wonder what it was that possessed him to get so close to talking about that day. My mind played Taylor's voice choked with emotion as he told me how much everyone lost the day Thad died. Why did that moment seem so pivotal in creating who all of us were? Probably because we were all so young and no one ever taught us how to deal with loss on that scale.

And now, Taylor danced around the subject we have colluded to never broach. What exactly happened in my bedroom that blazing August afternoon? Taylor and I had sex. That was easy to state. It was the facts. But what had really happened? Had I just used him to fill something that was missing? Did he just use me cause he could? I hated to think about that week. I tried to block that entire week out of my head. But for some reason, I had this uneasy feeling that week was very much on his mind.

I sighed as I snapped the shower off. Why did everything come back to this? Why was everything so wrapped up in the fact I'd lost my brother? I guess when there is a moment that you can pinpoint as the moment that shaped everything always went back to that. I pulled the door of the bathroom open to let the steam out. I wrapped my long hair up in a towel and gathered my dirty clothes off the floor. I stepped out into the hallway and hurried into my bedroom. I could here something that sounded a lot like Spongebob in Spanish playing on the television. I stepped into my bedroom determined to get out of this blue funk. Thinking about Thad always made me sad.

"Doofus!!" Zac screamed as he threw the door open. "What is taking you so long?"

"Then, my job is done here." He said flopping onto my bed and then jumping back up. "EWWW!! I think I just laid in the wet spot!"

"So, you were on top and the wet spot is on Tay's side of the bed?" He asked shoving all of the accumulated clothes off the chair in the corner and settling there. I just rolled my eyes as I walked out of my room. I ignored him. When Zac gets in this sort of mood, it was best to ignore him. "Come on, fess up… Do you like to be on top?"

"That is just downright disgusting." I said from the bathroom where I was slathering my hair with non-frizz gel. As I was getting my hair into exactly the messy, curly configuration I like best. Zac wandered into the doorway of the bathroom. "And none of your business!"

"Not even a possibility." I said pushing past him. "You know, if you and Anne would just admit your true feelings for one another, then you can live out your own porno fantasies and not have to feed off mine and Tay's reality…"

"Anne won't let me live out even my most puerile fantasy." Zac said shrugging. "Come on, give me one detail… Anything… What is your favorite position?"

I pushed past him and sat on the couch to pull on my shoes. "Do you ask Emory these sort of questions?"

"Oh God no!" Zac said pulling a face. "I can't even think about those two naked together… In fact, now that I am I think I may be sick."

"But the idea of Tay and I naked together is okay?" I asked grabbing my keys and purse.

"No, the idea of you naked is okay," Zac said thundering down the stairs after me. "I just imagine that someone else is with you."

"Zac, you are creeping me out." I said as I slid into my car. "Are you on painkillers?"

"Cause you have some serious filter problems today." I said as I maneuvered the familiar streets.

"Yes!" I said as I stopped at a light. "You do realize you've been talking about your brothers and their sex lives, right?"

"Cleo, let me let you in on a secret." Zac said yawning enormously. "I know a lot about you and your sex life."

"Taylor still talks in his sleep." He said pushing a tape into the tape deck. The sounds of the Smashing Pumpkins filled the car. "Dude, you totally need a new car. You've got to join us in this century. I mean, cassettes? No one has tape decks in their cars anymore."

"Shut up," I said as I drove over the dirty, muddy Arkansas River. He was quietly singing along to the tape. After a few minutes, I pulled into the parking lot of St. John's hospital. I got out of my car and was almost in the front doors when I realized I was alone. "Zac!"

"Cleo, have I ever mentioned how bad I hate hospitals?" Zac said from where he leaned against my car.

"I think I may be having a panic attack." He said as I walked up to him. "I feel like I may puke."

"Zac, don't think about it as going into a hospital…" I said hugging him. He had beads of sweat on his lip and around his hairline. "Just pretend that you are going to see my dad at our house."

"I really don't know if I can do this." He said leaning forward. I watched him take deep gulping breaths. He slowly slid down the side of my car until he was sitting the ground next to my car. "I feel like my heart is trying to come out of my chest."

I totally knew exactly how he felt. Of course, my panic attacks weren't brought on by going into a hospital, but I understood nonetheless. I turned and ran into the hospital. I pushed the up button on the elevator, but it was taking way too long, so I started up the steps, taking them two at a time. I pushed my way out of the stairwell out of breath and sprinted down the hall towards my dad's office. I threw the door open to his office and slid to a halt totally out of breath. My dad was standing behind the reception desk talking to his nurse. He looked up at me and started. "Cleo, are you okay?" He asked dropping the chart he was looking at and rushing around to me.

"He's out sitting on the ground next to my car." I said. "I think he's having a panic attack, he can't breathe and he said his heart is pounding… I don't know if he'll be able to even come in here."

"Oh, okay," my dad said dragging me back up to my feet. "Go out and sit with him and I'll be out in a minute."

I actually ran back out of the building, not wanting to leave poor Zac outside by himself longer than possible. I pushed out through the front doors and stopped. Zac was no longer sitting next to my car. I skidded to a stop. "Zac?" I called. "Zac?! Where are you? Zac, this isn't funny!"

"My dad is coming to help you." I said lying on the ground next to him, holding him close.

"I feel so stupid," he said pulling me close to him. "I know there is nothing to fear, really, and yet… I'm losing it."

"Okay Zac," my dad said as he knelt next to him. "I'm going to give you some Valium to help relax you. Do you think you can sit up and take them?"

"Okay, I want you to take these and then come in when you feel better." He said pressing a bottle of water into his hand and two small yellow pills.

"No, I think you need to come in and have your hand fixed." My dad said laughing. "I'll see you in a few minutes."

"Zac, I almost didn't make it to Thad's funeral." I answered watching as he started to visibly relax. "I barely made it through those first few weeks."

"I guess I knew that." He said after a protracted silence. "That was such a bizarre day. But I guess I don’t have to tell you that.”

“No, you don’t.” I said running my fingers through his long hair. He obviously hadn’t brushed his hair for a very long time cause I kept running into snarls. I tried to get the knots worked out gently, but I wasn’t really succeeding.

“Pull my hair.” Zac said sitting up, trying to smooth his hair back. “Cleo, how long does it take to get a cast on?”

“Not too long…” I said shrugging, “Maybe an hour? Depends on how long you sit in radiology.”

“Be honest, how bad is this gonna hurt?” Zac said sighing. I watched as his expressive face fought back fear. Zac is a tough kid, but the whole idea of going and doing something that would purposely hurt him was still hard.

“Not too bad,” I lied smiling. “And anyway, you do get a shot of pure painkillers in the broken part before they set it.”

‘And look on the bright side,” Zac said lazily slinging his arm over my shoulder. The boy was high. “There are no bones sticking out of me anywhere…”

I hit the ground with a resounding crash. The tree house wasn’t very high, but I’d landed weird. I rolled over onto my back taking deep breaths trying to clear the stars out of my head. I was such a klutz.

“I think I’m gonna puke.” Zac said. I looked up at the three very green faces of the Hanson brothers. “Cleo, you’re broken.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked trying to sit up. I suddenly realized that my leg was stuck underneath me. “Don’t just stand there, help me stand up!”

“I think you just need to lay there.” Isaac said kneeling down next to me.

“Ike, my dad isn’t home!” Thad yelled breathless as he came skidding to a stop.

“Go get my dad.” Tay said tears streaming down his cheeks. “I am so sorry. So, so sorry.”

“Get a grip Nancy-boy.” I said shifting. “Ouch!” My leg was beginning to throb. “My leg hurts.” I put my hand down and felt wetness. A sticky, wet sharp thing where my leg should be. I raised my hand up and saw blood there. I struggled up onto my elbows; the bone in my thigh was jutting out of my skin at an odd angle. The stars were back before my eyes. “Oh my God.”

"I think I’m gonna puke.” Zac said before leaning forward and throwing up all of the hotdogs and everything else he’d eaten at the river.

“No, no bones jutting through your skin.” I mumbled as I followed his drunken path into the building. Soon, I found myself sitting in the waiting room of my father’s office reading really out of date magazines. I half listened to the receptionist fight with her husband. My dad has just colossally bad luck with receptionists. After about 45 minutes, I couldn’t take her voice and her snapping gum any longer. I stood and stretched, wandering back towards the various exam rooms.

“Whatever…” I mumbled as I pushed open the door to the room where my dad and Zac disappeared.

“Well, you’re lucky you broke your left hand,” my dad said as he smoothed the fluorescent green fiberglass over his arm.

”Why’s that?” A very stoned sounding Zac asked. I watched as his very heavily lidded eyes moved back and forth over the wall.

“Well, because you didn’t break your writing hand.” My dad said as he turned on the blow dryer to harden the cast.

“But, I’m left handed.” He said his eyes finally stopping on me. He tried to smile but he was really drugged up.

“Well, then you’re not lucky.” My dad said tapping gently on the cast, checking to make sure that the cast was hardening. He turned to see what Zac was looking at. “Hey beautiful.”

“Hi Daddy.” I said stepping the rest of the way into the room. “So, how does it look? Will he ever play the drums again?”

“Not looking great…” My dad said smiling, picking up another roll of fiberglass. “I was thinking of just amputating, but…”

“Ha, ha, very funny.” Zac intoned. “I think I’ve figured out why you break so many bones.”

“Cause I’m a klutz?” I asked settling onto the end of the examining table.

“No, cause of the drugs.” Zac said his eyes soft and unfocused. “These are really quite incredible.”

“Ha, ha…” I said shaking my head. “I usually don’t even let them give me anything when they set my bones.”

“You are one tough cookie.” Zac said softly. “Dang, I’ve spent too much time in doctor’s offices this year.”