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Jealousyis she fine is she the sort is she bright does she talk |
The
Perfect Girl
The
wake up call came early, as always. I
took a shower and noticed to my disdain that my skin still had a distinctly
pink tint to it. I was in a very
hateful mood. And I still had to
spend the lion’s share of my day at the worst television show ever aired and
then the afternoon in a police station giving my statement.
And then there would be the flight home.
I’m not strictly afraid of flying, but I hate it nonetheless.
The thing about flying that made me nuts was that I had to stay still
for so long. Although, flying in
first class did have its advantages, first and foremost, not so
claustrophobic, still not my favorite thing ever.
And really, flying implied packing and from what I could see Taylor’s
stuff was spread from hell to breakfast and back in his room.
And I was pretty sure he was going to beg me to help him pack.
And he had been in New York for almost 4 weeks; he had probably bought
at least a suitcase full of new clothes and no new suitcase. By the time I had finished my shower, I was fuming for no
reason.
I
just knew, all in all, the day was going to suck pretty much from beginning to
end.
I
pulled on what I hoped was an appropriate outfit in the dark, ‘cause I
didn’t want to disturb Emory. As
I tied my shoes, Emory turned over in her bed.
She sighed heavily. I
watch as she rubbed her eyes. I
stopped short; I didn’t want to wake her.
Still, she reached down into her bed as if scratching and her hand came
back up. She opened her eyes to inspect what she held.
“Cleo, is there a reason why I keep finding buttons everywhere?”
“No
reason.” I answered.
“I
don’t even want to know what you and Taylor were doing last night.”
She said rolling over onto her stomach and burrowing back down into
pillow. “You two are so
strange…”
“Go
back to sleep.” I said as I
walked out of the room. I hoped
jeans, a trashed New Kids on the Block t-shirt and a cardigan was okay for the
day’s adventures. But of
course, the fact that I was going to be with the Hanson brothers all day,
meant I’d probably have to change at least once.
They had a history of dirtying my clothing for me.
As I pushed the door open, I was greeted by the usual cacophony that
traveled with the Hanson family. “Hey,”
I said as I plopped down onto the couch.
“Hey,”
Zac intoned in his sleepy voice. “I
became a rock star so I wouldn’t have to get up this early in the
morning.”
“Hey
Mr. Rockstar.” Anne said as she
hurried by where Zac lay sprawled across the entire loveseat, his enormous
feet propped on the coffee table.
“The
Loveboat!” Zac sang in his best imitation of Jack Jones.
“Dad, are we going to have to sing?”
“Yes,
I think you will.” Walker said.
"Oh
crap," he moaned.
"Didn't
your mouth get you in enough trouble last night?"
Diana asked smacking Zac’s feet that were propped on the coffee
table. “Zac, get your feet off
the furniture. You have better
manners than that."
"Anyway,
that is why we got you up so early."
Walker said. "So you
could warm up your voices… Where
are your brothers?”
“Oooh,
it’s an ugly scene.” Zac said
sitting up. “Ike got into the
bathroom before Taylor.”
“Oh
no!” Walker said in mock
horror. But we all knew that was
a bad thing, cause for some reason, Ike took the longest in the bathroom.
He had the shortest hair and with his little goatee, he didn’t have
as much face to shave and yet, he always and forever had taken the longest.
“Cleo, go roust the boys… And
do what you have to get them out of that room.”
“Okay,”
I said pulling myself off the couch.
“Dad,
we may never see Cleo and Tay again.” Zac
said. I stuck my tongue out at
him, which caused Anne to dissolve into peals of laughter.
I
pushed the door open to be greeted by the sight of Isaac standing in front of
the closet in nothing but boxers, I could hear the shower running and
Taylor’s soft singing from the other room. “Hey
sexy!” I said as I fell onto
the bed.
“Hey…”
He said distractedly. He didn’t
look at me, but he didn’t seem to be totally oblivious to my existence.
Still, I usually got more than just a casual, non-committal greeting.
“What was Zac wearing?”
“Um,
jeans, Led Zeppelin t-shirt.” I
said watching as he sifted through his clothes.
“Pretty standard Zac…”
“And
what do you think pretty boy is going to wear?”
Isaac asked, but not really asking me.
He was basically asking the room.
I noticed the particularly bitter tone when he said Taylor’s most
hated nickname. Grandma Jane always called him “Pretty Boy” but she was
the only one who got away with it. In
fact, one of Zac’s broken nose incidents grew directly out of an afternoon
of teasing.
“Does
it matter?” I asked watching as
he flipped through his enormous collection of white dress shirts, tan
chino’s and sports jackets.
His
eyes momentarily flicked over towards me and then he turned back to the task
at hand. “Not really. I
just don’t want to offend his delicate sensibilities.
Nor do I want to clash or match him exactly.” Isaac said finally deciding which combination of astoundingly
similar looking clothing he wanted to wear.
“Of course, anything will clash with Zac…” Isaac stopped for a
minute; I could feel that he wanted to say something.
Something was weighing heavily on his mind and he wanted to talk to me.
He opened his mouth to say whatever it was, but just then the shower in
the next room shut off. He sighed
deeply and turned back towards the closet.
“Zac looked good last night, didn’t he?”
“He
looked amazing.” I said as he
pulled on a wifebeater. I
wondered what he really wanted to say; I could tell he was troubled.
But for some reason, he couldn’t just say what was bothering him.
“You guys really tore it up.”
“Emory
said we sounded inspired.” He
said as he pulled on his immaculately ironed pants.
“I think that seeing her definitely inspired me.”
“Ike,
you are going to make me sick!” Taylor
called from the bathroom. He
stepped out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel.
“Hey!”
“Hey,”
I said smiling as he stepped over and kissed me.
“Tay,
watch the placement of the towel.” Isaac
said shielding his eyes.
“Whatever.” Taylor said rolling his eyes.
He dropped the towel and pulled on his boxers.
“Tay,
what’s that on your back?” Isaac
said walking over and examining Taylor’s back.
“Oh my gosh, you have nail marks on your back!
Cleo, you don’t even have nails…
It must have been really amazing sex for you to rip him up like
that.”
“Jesus
Ike, shut up.” Taylor said a
note of true annoyance in his voice. “Why
are you and Zac so obsessed with my sex life?
Is it cause you can’t get any?”
“You
wish you were getting as much ass as I get on a daily basis.”
Isaac said, a note of bitterness in his voice.
“Guys,
shut up!!” I said standing up.
I looked angrily at Isaac. I
couldn’t believe that he was making what I felt for Taylor into something so
sad and tawdry. “Is that all I am? A
piece of ass?”
“No,
of course not.” Taylor said
pulling on a pair of jeans.
“If
the shoe fits.” Isaac said
pulling on his jacket. “You’ve
got yourself quite a girlfriend there Tay.”
“Go
to hell.” I said standing up and walking towards the door.
“I don’t need to put up with your shit.”
“A
little touchy, aren’t you?” Isaac
said beating me to the door. He
turned and looked at Taylor. “Don’t
bother leaving, I’ll leave. You
stay in here until someone comes to find you.
Then you can have all of the attention, yet again.”
“What
is your problem?” Taylor asked
as he buttoned up his shirt.
“You
know Tay, this week was supposed to be for Emory and about Emory.”
Isaac said a note of sadness in his voice.
His voice almost had a pleading quality to it, almost as if he was
trying to get us to see something. Again,
I could feel that what he wanted to say was just under the surface, on the tip
of his tongue, just beyond my comprehension.
Then it was gone.
“And
it has been. I mean, didn’t we
spend a large chunk of yesterday doing wedding stuff?”
Taylor said running his fingers through his wet hair.
“You
know, you are so self-centered that you can’t see anything at all.”
Isaac said slamming out of the room.
“What
the hell?” Taylor said to the back of the door. “What do you think that was all about?”
“I
honestly don’t know.” I
answered opening the door. “Is
he mad that I’m going with you to the show, cause if he wants to take Emory,
I’ll go back to bed and get her ass out of bed…”
“Cleo,
language.” Diana said from the
kitchen.
“Sorry,
Diana.” I said smiling at her. “Are
you coming with us?”
“No,
the kids and I are going to stay here. Mac
says he wants to go swimming…” She said ruffling the sleepy-eyed boys
hair.
“Cleo,
you should stay and swim with us.” Mac
said around a mouthful of bagel.
“I
would love to, but someone has to go to with them.”
I said gratefully accepting the cup of coffee Taylor offered me.
“Can’t
Emory go?” Mac asked.
“She’s
still asleep.” Zac said from
where he lay on the couch a lump of flesh and hair.
“Much like I should be.”
“She’s
got jet lag, baby.” Diana said.
“Lucky
girl,” Zac moaned. “Dad,
whose idea was it for us to appear on a television show the day after a late
night show?”
“That
would be my brilliant idea.” Walker
said again smacking Zac’s feet that had again found their way onto the
coffee table. “And come on get up, it’s time to go. Ike, Tay, Cleo… I
think there is a van downstairs waiting for you.”
“Okay,
let’s go.” I said grabbing
Taylor’s hand and heading towards the door.
I pulled him out into the hall before anyone else was even on their
feet.
“Slow
down.” Taylor said as I punched the down button on the elevator.
“What’re you doing?”
"What
is wrong with Ike?” I demanded.
“Did he say anything last night?
Anything at all?”
“I
don’t know…” Taylor said looking at me confused.
“I don’t remember.”
“Think
hard,” I urged. “There is
something wrong with Isaac. He is
being so different. Did he and
Emory get in a fight?”
“Not
that I know of… Did he say
something else to you?” Taylor
asked his eyes narrowing. I could
see that my answer would determine whether or not this was going to be a good
day at all.
“No,
not really… He just seems… off.”
I said shrugging. The door
to the room opened, Isaac and Zac walked out into the hall. “Hey guys…”
“Here,”
Isaac said practically throwing Taylor’s guitar case at him.
“I know that we’re all supposed to take care of you, but I’m not
in the mood to carry both guitars. So,
if your highness could deign to help out.”
“Okay,
thanks.” Taylor said a note of confusion in his voice.
Zac looked at the back of Isaac’s head and raised both his eyebrows.
I
suppose I don’t have to tell you that the ride in the elevator and to the
studio was completely silent. Zac
coughed once and the sound almost made me jump out of my skin.
The silence was extremely oppressive.
I’m pretty sure everyone in the van was suffering, but no one dared
break the silence. As the van
rounded the corner, the excited squeal wasn’t as loud as I’d heard it, but
there were definitely a lot of girls here.
I clutched compulsively at Taylor’s hand.
“I don’t know if I want to face the crowd.”
“You’ll
be okay, I’ll protect you.” Taylor
whispered into my ear.
As
the van pulled up next to the studio door, I looked warily at the 20-foot
expanse of sidewalk between the building and me.
I looked out at the usual cadre of girls, even recognizing some of the
faces. A few signs caught
my eye and to my surprise, they were supportive of me.
Of all the things I had grown to expect from the fans, support was
never one of them. But there in a crowd of girls, I saw signs that read:
“We love Cleo” and “If Cleo is good enough for Tay, she’s good
enough for me!” The look of
complete surprise on my face must have been classic because Zac burst out
laughing behind me. As I stopped
to accept the flowers one fan held out for me, Isaac angrily pushed by me.
By
the time I stepped through the doors, I was completely stunned.
I had never felt such a huge outpouring of acceptance before. Nor had I ever walked into a building with more flowers and
presents than the boys. Taylor
grabbed my hand and squeezed, smiling at me as we waited for the elevator to
take us up to the dressing and green rooms.
“See, I knew the fans would come around.”
“They’re
only doing this cause you said you would quit if they weren’t nicer to
Cleo.” Isaac said rolling his
eyes. “Don’t you get it?
The fans only do what they think you want.”
“But,
the fans like Emory,” Taylor pointed out.
“Yeah,
well, Emory hasn’t ever done anything to the fans.”
Isaac said shrugging.
“Neither
have I!” I protested.
“Yes,
you did.” Isaac said stepping into the elevator. “Pretty boy fell in love with you… You dashed all those foolish girls’ dreams to splinters.
You’ve sullied Mr. Perfect.”
“Ike
shut up.” I said leaning my head against Taylor’s back snaking an arm
around his waist while I fought with my gifts and flowers with the other arm.
I could feel his breath moving slowly and smoothly in and out.
I sighed as I realized that the madness seemed to be beginning again.
“What is your problem with me this time?”
“I
have no problem with you.” Isaac
said. “I have no problems
whatsoever.”
“Well,
as long as we are all on the same page here.”
Zac said as we stepped into the elevator.
“Is that saying supposed to make some sort of sense, cause I mean, it
makes sense, but it is also very senseless…
Does that make sense?”
“Zac,
you rarely, if ever, make sense to me…” I said sighing.
“But really, I guess that is part of your charm.”
“And
you know I’m damn charming.” Zac
said as the elevator opened onto the 10th floor.
“Oh,
thank heavens you’re here! We’ve
heard so many stories about how you are always late…
I guess being from Oklahoma you aren’t used to the way things
work in the city.” A harried looking woman said as she grabbed Isaac’s
arm. The tone of her voice was
very snotty and condescending. The snide emphasis she placed on the word Oklahoma made me
cringe. She thought we were a
bunch of hapless hicks. “My
name is Fiona, I’m the talent coordinator and I was seriously beginning to
worry that you weren’t going to show at all.”
“We
said we’d be here.” Isaac
said looking at her out of the corner of his eye.
“We’ve never just not shown up for something.”
“But,
your call was almost an hour ago… But
I guess you aren’t used to being on television shows anymore, so you don’t
understand the importance of being on time.” She said striding off down the
hall very quickly, her high heels clicking angrily on the tiled floor.
Her voice was just snide and dripping with sarcasm.
I wanted to smack her perfectly made up face.
“We’re
sorry,” Taylor said looking at me with a puzzled look on his face as she led
us through winding corridor after winding corridor.
“We tried to get here on time.”
“Well,
when we sent you your call sheet, we had hoped you’d at least look at it and
try to be here somewhat near the time we had listed.”
She snapped at Taylor. I
found her very tone to be offensive.
“No,
I think we’re here on time.” Zac
said looking at me a look of confusion on his face as well.
“In fact, it’s 8:25, we’re early.”
“I
know that you were home schooled, but even my 4 year old can tell time.”
She snapped.
“No,
we were told the call time was 8:30 am and that is the time now.”
I said stepping out from behind Taylor.
I felt myself getting defensive as she attacked the boys. I was their assistant and I knew they weren’t late.
“No
honey, we would NEVER set a call time that late…” She said very rudely.
I hated her and her NYC chic, her black shirt and pants with thick
black glasses and her hair standing up in a very messy, but entirely
purposeful way. She looked at me
over the top of her glasses and pulled her lips into an entirely disapproving
scowl. “I think someone dropped
the ball.”
“Listen,
I have the call sheet you sent to us right here.”
I said handing my gifts to Zac and rummaging through my bag.
I found the envelope that Walker had handed me as we were leaving.
“Okay… Let me find…
Your call time will be 8:30 am, please come to the 10th
floor to meet me and I will get you set up with a dressing room and makeup… And it’s signed Fiona.”
I said handing the note to her. “So,
Fiona, where is the dressing room?”
She
looked carefully over the note and I watched as a deep blush crept up her neck
and across her face. “Um…
It’s this way.”
“Thanks
so much Fiona.” I said as she
opened the door to a dressing room just like all the others I’d ever seen.
A non-descript couch, a couple of matching chairs, a bathroom and an
enormous vanity all in various non-threatening shades of beige.
“And which way is makeup?”
“Umm,
it’s just down the hall.” Fiona
said her voice much less clipped than when we first got off the elevator.
“Is there anything I can get you?”
“Yeah,
I think we’ll take 4 large coffees…” I said smiling benignly at her.
“Actually,
I’d like a mocha.” Zac said
as he collapsed onto the couch.
“I’d
like a Caffé Americano.” Isaac
said setting his guitar case gently on the vanity.
As he popped the top I could see that he had brought Cassandra.
“And
I just want a huge black coffee, no cream, no sugar.
Just black. Do you think
you can remember that?” Taylor
said smiling sweetly. He just had
to charm; it was part of his make up.
“And
what can I get you?” She said
to me, all of her attitude totally gone.
“I’d
love a Chai.” I said sighing as
I slumped down into a chair, slinging my legs over the arm.
Isn’t it funny how you don’t realize how tired you are until you
sit down?
“Okay,
I’ll be right back.” She said
nodding as she backed out of the room.
Once
the door closed behind her Zac started howling with laughter.
“Damn, from now on I’m going to call you “The Intimidator.” You totally had her shaking in her boots.”
“And
those were some seriously expensive boots.” I said sighing again as Taylor
sat on the floor in front of me. He
sat with his legs underneath him and his arms around my waist.
That position couldn’t have been comfortable, but I loved the feel of
his head against my hip.
Isaac
sat and tuned his guitar, his eyes rather unfocused.
As he plucked out simple chords on the guitar, I watched him.
He looked so sad as his eyes swept lazily around the room.
They finally focused on where Zac was lying with his feet up on the arm
of the sofa. He was very into a
game of something on his Gameboy Advance.
As Isaac watched his brother, I watched his expression slowly soften
from a sort of melancholy to one of awe.
I think at one point in time all of us were so sure we were about to
lose Zac, that his joyful, vibrant, loud existence is an awe-inspiring gift.
He
played soft chords his eyes falling onto Taylor.
I watched him through my eyelashes, my hand moving softly over
Taylor’s hair, smoothing it down. Emotions
fought for supremacy on Isaac’s face, he finally settled on a look I
couldn’t read, but it didn’t shine with love like it had as he watched
Zac. Taylor reached out and
grabbed my hand, bringing it to his lips.
As Taylor did this, I saw the look on Isaac’s face move distinctly
into a look of annoyance and sadness mixed.
I opened my eyes wide and caught Isaac’s attention.
When his eyes locked with mine, his face went blank and unreadable
again. Isaac opened his mouth as if to say something and then let it
close again. He rolled his eyes
and shook his head as he looked away.
“Ike,
what…” I began, but just then the door to the dressing room was thrown
open.
“Hey,
here are your coffees.” Fiona
said as she came back into the room. She
walked around and handed each of us one, ending with Taylor.
“And I got you a black coffee, no cream, no sugar.”
“Perfect,”
Taylor said turning around and leaning against my chair.
“Thank you so much Fiona.”
“My
pleasure,” she said smiling at him.
“Wow,
this is really good coffee.” Taylor
said smiling up at her. “Since
we started out late, maybe we should hurry to makeup.
Don’t you think?”
“Yeah,
they’re waiting for you.” She
said leaning back against the vanity. “Are
you ready to go?”
“Always.”
Taylor said jumping up. He
turned to me and held out his hand. “Are
you coming?”
“Of
course.” I said grabbing Taylor’s offered hand. We slowly wandered down the hall looking at the pictures of
various celebrities lining the walls. He
made silly little comments about most of them and whispering sweet things into
my ear. I sat on a chair in the
back of makeup and watched as Zac fought with the hair girl and then with the
makeup girl. Taylor sat and
chatted amiably with the girl attending to him.
In fact, his chatting sounded a lot like flirting and if I was the
jealous type (and I didn’t know that was how Taylor always talked), I would
have been very hot. But really it
was no big deal… I would have
been more worried if he had just been sitting there and not chatting up the
beautiful girl applying pancake makeup to his rosy cheeks.
And
Isaac? He was just sitting there glowering. He looked like he was a pot filled with hot caramel set at a
slow boil. And his eyes were mere
slits as he watched Taylor and his easy way.
The gorgeous young woman with the bright red dreadlocks was trying to
engage him in conversation, but he kept brushing her off as though she were
annoying. Finally, she just gave
up and went into the automatic process of fixing his hair into the faux-hawk
he was currently sporting and smoothing makeup onto his beautifully tanned
skin. His eyes flickered over to
where I sat. As our eyes locked,
I smiled at him. He just sat the
look on his face again unreadable. But
I could see that there was something he wanted to say and it was just below
the surface.
Because
he wasn’t chatting or impeding the makeup process, he was finished well
before either of his gregarious brothers.
He stood to walk out of the room, but as he passed by me, he stopped.
“Hey,” I said smiling.
“Hey,”
he said his hands deep in his pockets. “Come
walk with me…”
“Okay,”
I said jumping up. He turned and
walked out the door and I followed him. He
stalked down the hallway towards a door that lead out onto a balcony. He pushed the door open and walked to the edge of the garden.
I dutifully followed him loving the sound of the city rising the 10
floors up to where we stood. I
took a deep breath and was pleasantly surrounded by the scents of the city.
Isaac
stood next to me looking up at the slice of sky we could see between
buildings, clouds reflected in his eyes.
He sighed deeply and tilted his face towards the sun.
His skin glowed bronze. He
closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hands buried deeply into his pockets.
He was such a dreamer. He
sat in a chair and leaned his head back, basking in the sun.
I
smiled as I grabbed another chair. I
pulled it over to the edge of the garden and stepped up.
I leaned way over to look towards the street.
Looking down to where life was happening.
As I looked down, the sounds of the city seemed to be amplified.
I watched as mothers walked their children to school, businessmen
talked on their cell phones, taxies performed the delicate dance that is New
York City traffic. I sighed
wishing I were down there moving through the crowded streets.
“You
know, that is just so typical.” Isaac
said quietly.
“What?”
I asked looking over at Ike. He
was sitting with his hands laced behind his head. He was scrutinizing me closely, his face unreadable.
I smiled trying to get a read on his facial expression.
“This,
it’s just so typical.” Isaac
said sighing. “We always want
different things.”
“What
are you talking about?” I said
turning towards him. Something
about what he was saying needed more attention then just a glance.
“I
guess I sometimes forget we have almost nothing in common anymore.”
He said quietly. His eyes
took on a shiny look before the started checking out his hands.
“Are
you kidding?” I asked stepping
off the chair and squatting down in front of him.
I caught his eyes again, not liking the tears in his eyes.
“We have everything in common…”
“No,
we don’t, not anymore.” He
said shrugging. “Sometimes, I look at you and Taylor and I realize I
don’t know you at all.”
“I’m
the same person I’ve always been.” I
said reaching out and plucking his hand off his knee.
“I’m still just Cleo, the tomboy from across the street.”
“No,
you’re not.” He said pulling
his hand away from me. “You’re
the girl who is sleeping with my brother.”
“How
can you say that?” I asked.
“That hurts. Why would
you say that?”
“Because,
I see both of you and I don’t like how you act.”
He said looking away, his eyes focusing on something very far away. “I hate to watch the two of you acting so strangely.
Especially Taylor.”
“I
don’t think we’re acting different at all.”
I said shaking my head. “And
Taylor is still just Taylor.”
“And
who is that? Who is Taylor?” Isaac demanded.
“What
sort of question is that?” I
said dropping to my knees.
“I
think it’s an entirely reasonable question.”
Isaac answered. “I watch
him walk into a room and think, “who is that?”
I don’t know him at all anymore.”
“Isaac,
you two are so close,” I said confused.
“You’ve always been close.”
“Maybe,
at one time.” He said finally
locking eyes with me. “Someone
came between us.”
“What
are you saying now?”
“I
think you know.” He said
malevolence in his eyes I wasn’t expecting.
“But really, that is all secondary now.
I’m just surprised how different both of you have been acting
lately.”
“We’re
exactly the same as we ever were.” I
protested. “I promise you we
haven’t changed a bit. We are
still just Cleo and Taylor.”
“No,
you’re not.” He said standing
up. He looked down at me before
walking away. “You are both so
different.”
“I
am just not getting what you are saying,” I said shrugging even though I
knew he wasn’t watching me. “I
think both of us are exactly the same as we’ve always been.”
“No,
you’re not.” He said his back
to me, a bite in his voice. “Everything
has changed. You have both
changed. But, you?
You are almost unrecognizable to me.”
“When
did we change?” I asked
standing up. “How are we so
different?”
“I’m
not sure.” His voice drifted back quiet, uncertain.
“We could always go with the old standby, but I’m not sure if that
was it…”
“What
standby?” I asked walking over and standing right behind him.
“The
day Thad died, but I really think that is too simplistic.”
Isaac said sighing. “I
think we all just assume that everything changed that day, but I don’t think
that’s it.”
“I
am so lost,” I said slinging my arm around his waist from behind.
I felt him stiffen momentarily and then he melted into my embrace.
I really wasn’t following what he was saying to me.
He was engaged to the single most perfect woman in the world.
Emory was his perfect fit, the yin to his yang.
“Are you saying… What are you saying?
Please, help me out here.”
Ike
took my hands into his, lacing his fingers with mine.
He heaved a deep heartbreaking sigh.
“Don’t you ever think about how much easier our lives would be if
we could have just loved each other?”
“Ike,
let’s not go there…” I began.
“Oh
no, I’m not going there, cause to be perfectly honest with you, you are way
too high maintenance for me.”
“I
am not high maintenance…” I protested.
“I don’t care what I look like!!”
“Oh
no, not in that way.” Ike said
his voice soft. “But dang, you
are a beating emotionally.” It
was my turn to stiffen. I tried
to pull my hands away from his grasp, but he held on fast.
“Hear me out! I’m just
saying that you require too much love and reassurance, more than I think I’m
mentally prepared to give. I wish
I had it in me to be everything you need.
But I’m not. For some
strange reason, my severely self-centered little brother has all the things
you need and I’m not sure why. And
God help me, I’m jealous and relieved all in one.
You know what you and Tay are? You’re
a car crash. And God help me, no
matter how much I want to, I can’t look away.
But really, right now you are in the stage where you are both speeding
towards each other in a colossal game of chicken.
I know I should look away, but it is just so fascinating.”
“So
what you’re saying is that we are trying to destroy each other?”
I asked getting more than a little defensive.
“I
don’t think you are trying to destroy each other, but I think that may be
the inevitable ending.” Isaac
said shrugging.
“Well,
I can’t say that makes me feel all that great.”
I said pulling away from him when he let my hands go.
“I think you’re wrong. I
think Taylor and I are the same and you’ve changed.”
“Cleo,
Taylor hasn’t been the same since May 10th, 1997.”
Isaac said a rueful smile on his face.
“He changed and I mean really and truly changed in an elemental way
that day.”
“Why
do you say that?” I asked
rubbing at my sore hands.
“Because
no matter what we say or how much he protests, hearing ten thousand girls
scream your name in one voice is a life altering thing.”
Isaac said resting against the wall and watching me.
“I don’t think Tay has an out of control ego, but… Have you ever asked him if he likes being famous, being
beautiful? Cause I think he would
answer with a resounding yes. And
I think he loves the fact that he is often the focus of everything.”
“He
is not.” I said shaking my head.
I couldn’t believe what Isaac was saying.
He didn’t really think Taylor wanted all of the extra attention, did
he? I suddenly felt a strong
desire to find Taylor. I wanted
to give him a huge hug and kiss. I
wanted to show Isaac I gave too; I wasn’t just a taker.
Or was I? “He isn’t
self-centered at all. And he
isn’t the focus… You are in a
band, all three of you.”
“Yes,
but watch today’s interview.” Isaac
said standing. “We may all be
asked the questions, but they really only want Taylor’s answer.”
“You’re
wrong.” I said pulling the door open.
“Cleo,
I know you aren’t dumb, but damn, you’re acting the part of the fool.”
Isaac said walking past me through the open door.
“And one day, his attitude is going to get him in trouble.”
“Whatever.” I mumbled following him back toward the dressing room.
Suddenly, I found myself face to face with Kelly Ripa, the
much-maligned co-host. In fact, I
was so face-to-face I ran into her. “Excuse me.”
“No,
excuse me.” She said smiling widely.
“You must be Hanson.”
“I
am.” I said shaking the offered
hand.
“Wow!
You must be one of the fiancés!”
She said grabbing my left hand. “That
is an impressive engagement ring.”
“Thanks,
I like it.” I said as she
carefully inspected the ring.
“You
should.” She said. “When
are you getting married?”
“Soon,
pretty soon…” I stammered.
“Wonderful,
marriage is the best.” She said
a warm glow coming off of her like a perfume.
We both heard her name being paged overhead.
“I have to run, but good luck.”
“Thanks
again.” I called after her rapidly retreating back.
As I walked into the room, Taylor’s face lit up with a smile.
“Hey sexy.” I said as
I walked over to where he sat hurriedly writing notes.
“Hey
beautiful.” Taylor said back. I
leaned down and gave him a warm, very sexy kiss. “I was beginning to worry that Ike was trying to horn in on
my woman.”
“Hardly
likely,” Isaac snorted. “You
can have her.”
“What
is your…” Zac began when the door was thrown open.
“Alright,
it’s time for your appearance.” Fiona
said breathlessly. “Follow me,
please.”
“Ike,
what is your problem?” Zac
hissed as we walked down the hall.
“I
don’t have a problem,” Isaac said with a smile.
“I am completely problem free. Wouldn’t
you agree Cleo?”
“Sure.”
I said shrugging. I honestly
didn’t know if he was saying that because it was true or if he was trying to
suck me into another one of those soul-sucking moments.
Taylor
pulled on my hand slowing me down. “What’s
going on?”
“Nothing
really, I’ll tell you later.” I
whispered as I pulled Taylor into a hug.
“You just go out there and enjoy yourself.”
“Okay,”
he said smiling crookedly at me. “I
love you.”
“I love you too.” I said giving him one last hug as they called their names. They walked out Isaac first, Zac second, Taylor third. I closed my eyes in a silent prayer that things would go smoothly. I crossed my fingers hoping beyond all hope that nothing would go wrong.
"So,
what have you 3 been up to lately?"
Regis asked after the obligatory round of handshakes and kisses on the
cheek of the co-host.
"Well
since Zac got sick, mostly we've been taking it easy and writing music."
Taylor said settling onto the high stool.
"Ah,
yes." Kelly said in her overly perky voice. "I heard it was pretty scary for a while there.
How are you doing now?"
"Never
better..." Zac said slightly puffing up his chest.
"I'm back to my butt-kicking strength."
"You
wish." Isaac said just as I expected him to. The interview moved smoothly from subject to subject.
They talked animatedly about the new music, about the charity show the
night before, about the quickly moving plans for the next tour.
“Yeah,
we’re finalizing all the details for the first few shows.”
Zac said laughingly. Zac
was really acting out all through this interview.
But for the first time in a long time, he seemed to truly be enjoying
himself.
“We’re
heading out the first of June.” Isaac
said smiling.
“Is
that after your wedding?” Kelly
asked.
“Actually,
yes, it is.” Isaac said smiling sheepishly, a furious blush climbing up
his cheeks. “I’m getting
married in May.”
“Aw,
don’t do it man! You’re young and hot!”
Regis crowed. “You
should be out there taking advantage of all sorts of opportunities.”
“Oh
Regis! Don’t listen to him, he
wishes he were hot and young again.” Kelly
said winking wickedly at Isaac. “I
met your fiancé backstage and she is lovely.”
“Emory’s
here?” He asked looking over to
where I stood.
“Well,
yes, if Emory is the girl with the curly dark hair and glasses and the most
amazing rock on her finger.” Kelly
said.
“Aw,
you met Cleo.” Zac said
laughing. “That is Taylor’s
fiancé.”
“You’re
getting married?” Regis practically crowed.
"Yeah,
I am.” Taylor said shrugging.
“But
why? I don’t understand how
these young hot guys can give up on life so early?”
Regis asked the crowd. “Taylor,
I know that there have to be girls breaking down your door.
Why? Why would you give
all that up?”
“I
don’t feel like I’m giving anything up at all.”
Taylor said shrugging and looking over at me.
“Cleo is amazing and my best friend.”
“That
is so sweet.” Kelly said giving
Taylor the most nauseatingly sweet look.
“Isn’t that sweet Reeg?”
“So,
when are you getting married?” Regis
asked Taylor.
“Sometime
around Christmas, I think is what was decided.”
Taylor answered.
“Wow,
that is soon!” Kelly said. “What
do you two think about him getting married so soon?
I mean, wow! You’ll be
losing your group heartthrob!”
“Cleo
can have him.” Isaac mumbled.
“You
know, Ike is getting married much sooner than me.”
Taylor said shifting uncomfortably.
"Well,
Tay, we all know that it's all about you..." Ike said rolling his eyes. "Or at least you think it is..."
"What?"
Taylor and Zac both asked. Ah
yes, there were those sweet harmonies again.
"Tay,
you're not really blonde, so the dumb act isn't cute."
Isaac snapped.
"Wow,
it sounds like there are some unresolved family issues going on here."
Regis said in his uniquely huckster-like way,
I
sat offstage with my mouth open. I
couldn't believe what Isaac had just said on national television.
I put my hands over my eyes, hoping I wasn’t about to witness a full
on family fight right here in the CBS studios.