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I Want Your Sex III
It's late |
“Well,
as fascinating as all of this is,” I said standing and stretching.
“I’m kicking the boys out so I can get some sleep.”
“I
was hoping to sleep in here with you.”
Taylor said pouting his world famous pout.
“I
think your mother would have a heart attack if she found you in here with
me.” I said hauling myself up
off the bed. Most of the
drunkenness had worn off, but now I had to piss like a racehorse.
“And really, killing your mother wasn’t high on my list of things
to do.”
“Where
are you going?” Taylor asked.
“To
the bathroom.” I said standing
in the open door. I shut the door
and started my business. I
really, really needed… “Hey!”
I yelled as the door creaked open.
“I’m using the bathroom in here.”
“I
know,” Taylor said as he slipped into the bathroom and shut the door behind
him. “I just wanted to talk to
you.”
“And
this couldn’t have been done when I wasn’t peeing?” I asked leaning down over my legs. I don’t know why I had this irrational need to cover up,
but I did.
“Cleo,
why are you suddenly shy?” He
asked sitting on the edge of the tub in front of me.
He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on my lips.
“I’ve watched you pee hundreds of times…”
“Hundreds?”
I asked.
“Well,
yeah,” he said squinting at me. “You
never have been very good at closing bathroom doors. And how many times did you just drop trou in the woods?”
“I
just never thought it was fair that all of you could just whip it out and pee
wherever we were.” I said.
“Wow, think about how many times I saw each of you writing your names
in the snow or dust or whatever…”
“And,
not to mention how many times I’ve taken a bath with you.”
He said smiling at me. His
smile was so sweet and so wicked all rolled into one.
Even sitting across from me while I was on the toilet, I found him to
be irresistible.
“Tay,
close your eyes.” I said,
smiling back at him.
“Why?”
He asked his hands moving over my knees.
“Cause…”
I said shrugging. “I don’t
know…”
“What
is this sudden sweetness…” Taylor asked closing his eyes.
“This sudden shyness.”
“I’m
always sweet.” I said as I
pulled up my panties, balancing my jeans precariously on my hips. I was just going to be putting on my pajamas, so why get
totally redressed? I turned and
began to wash my hands, watching Taylor watching me.
“I guess I want you to think I’m perfect…”
“You
are perfect to me.” He said his
hands reaching out and grabbing my hips.
He turned me around so I was facing him.
He looked up at me, his eyes shining like they always do.
The sparkle in his eyes there just for me.
His hands slid up under my shirt, moving softly over my skin.
I ran my wet hands through his hair.
“Come here.”
“Okay.”
I said straddling the edge of the tub next to him.
“Do
you have any idea how much I just love to be in the same city as you, let
alone the same room.” He said
wrapping his arms around me.
“Hmm…
I might, but tell me again.” I
said wrapping my arms around his neck, slinging my leg over his lap.
“You,
my dear, smell like a beer.” He
said nuzzling his nose into my neck. “And
like something else, something more basic, something that makes my heart
skip…”
“The
things you say, Mr. Hanson…” I said as his lips moved slowly along my
chin. “You really know how to
sweep a girl off her feet.”
“You
aren’t on your feet.” Taylor
murmured into my ear, his hand moving slowly along down my back.
His fingers found the small strip of skin between the bottom of my
shirt and the top of my pants. The
feeling of his fingers on my bare skin was shocking.
His mouth settled over mine. First
kissing me lightly. The silk of
his lips glided smoothly over my rough, chapped, wind-roughened lips.
For a second, he pulled away, his breath whistling out between his
teeth and falling warmly on my lips. I
leaned forward trying to kiss him, but he moved back slightly.
“Are you still as turned on as you were a few minutes ago?”
“Taylor…”
I moaned, my hands moving up his back. I
wound my fingers through his warm, oily hair.
I pulled him towards me, pushing my lips firmly onto his.
If he was trying to play with me, I’d play right back with him.
I’d make him beg. “I
think you are teasing me.”
“I
just might be.” He said against
my mouth. This time his lips were
the aggressors, pulling on my lips, sucking on my tongue, nipping playfully at
my chin, my nose, my cheeks. As
he kissed me, his hands moved from my back to my tummy.
His cool fingers slid softly under the edge of my bra, finding my
already hard nipples and bringing them to an even harder peak.
“I think you are wearing entirely too much clothing.”
“Mmm,”
I mumbled into his mouth in agreement. My hand slid up under his shirt, his
skin felt hot under my hands. I
slid my hands upwards trying to pull his shirt.
“I think you may be wearing too much as well.”
“No,
tonight, this isn’t about me,” Taylor said his long fingers sliding down
into the still unzipped waistband of my jeans.
“I want to make you happy… I
always only want to make you happy.” He
whispered.
He
knelt in front of me, pulling my t-shirt off over my head.
His hands trailing down along my arms, his hands came to rest on my
shoulders. His mouth descended
onto mine again. He began what
could possibly stand as the world’s greatest kiss.
He rested his warm lips against mine, softly pursing them against mine.
I waited for the kiss to continue, yearning and hungry.
He gently pulled back before placing his mouth over mine again.
And softly, gingerly, he slid his tongue along my bottom lip.
His strong arms snaked around my waist, pressing me tightly against his
chest. His hands pushed the
waistband of my jeans even farther down, his fingers gently cupping my ass.
“Taylor…”
I said pushing his hands away. “Seriously,
we can’t do this...”
“We
aren’t doing anything.” Taylor
said. He put his fingers very
gently on my back, just below my bra. “I
would never do anything you wouldn’t want or ask me to do.” He whispered his hands moving up my back and down my arms.
He gently laced his fingers through mine, smiling wickedly.
He pulled on my hands, pulling me off the edge of the bathtub and onto
my knees. We now knelt face to
face on the bathroom floor. He
folded me into his arms pulling me as tightly against him as he could.
We were so close. As he
held me I could feel his heart beating. Our
breaths coming in concert, I loved the feeling of his stomach pressing against
mine as he inhaled. I loved the
way his breath felt against my cheek, into my mouth.
I sighed just loving the closeness of him.
His
hands now found their way into the waist of my panties.
His strong, callused fingers traced slow circles over my belly, pushing
the soft cotton material down and away from me.
“Taylor…”
I said my breath catching as his fingers slid back up my thighs.
His strong fingers dipped quickly between my thighs, exploring the
juncture there. “Oh,
please…”
“Please
what?” Taylor asked pushing on
my shoulders, guiding me down onto the floor.
“I
don’t know.” I sighed,
wincing slightly at the cold tiles against my back.
Taylor was above me, mere inches above me, effectively pinning me
against the tile. I was trapped
between his knees and hands and yet, I didn’t mind.
“Just please…”
“For
someone who says they don’t want to do this, you sure seem ready.”
Taylor said moving down slightly so that I could feel the heat coming
off him. Still, he was a
tantalizing inch above my body. His
hand moved down over my ribs, into my belly button, across my belly…
When his strong fingers invaded my moist folds, I moaned, my back
arching off the floor. “My
God, you always feel like heaven.” He
whispered softly, so softly into my neck.
“You must be an angel. My
angel.”
“You
are so totally cheesy.” I said
turning my head to the side my hands clutching at his back, biting my lip to
keep the even louder moan from escaping.
He took advantage of my totally exposed neck.
His hot lips moving slowly down my neck sucking roughly at the
overheated skin. His rough,
cat-like tongue moved along my jugular vein.
I could feel my blood racing through the vein.
His mouth moved down to the hollow of my throat, sucking at the hollow
there, literally stealing my breath away.
A sudden shiver started at the base of my pelvis and moved up my spine.
“Oh God! I love you so
much, I wouldn’t want you any other way…”
“I
want you.” I moaned my hands
scrambling at his clothing, trying desperately to free him of all that he had
on. “I want you to make love to
me.”
“Interesting.”
He whispered as he sped up the motion of his fingers.
“But, we don’t have a condom.”
“I…
I don’t care.” I moaned my toes curling into the bathmat.
“Oh man, I think I’m going to…”
“Umm,
Cleo?” A voice said through the
door accompanied by soft knocking. “I
hate to bother you, but I really, really need to use the restroom.”
Before
Emory was even done saying that, Taylor was up and out the door.
“I’d give Cleo a minute to collect herself.”
Taylor said blithely.
“Dude,
how are you still dressed?” I
heard Zac ask.
“Why
wouldn’t I be dressed?” Taylor
asked back. I heard what sounded
like bedsprings settling as I quickly pulled on my jeans and t-shirt, leaving
my panties in a little heap. “We
were just talking. Anyway,
remember Cleo injured me earlier this evening.”
“Well,
from the sounds in the other room, Cleo’s balls must be as blue as yours.”
Zac said as I ripped the door open.
“Hey, Cleo, now Tay’s not the only one with blue balls...”
“Shut
up Zac.” I said as Emory pushed
past me into the bathroom. “I’m
going for a walk.”
“So,
that is what women do? Go for
walks?” Zac asked the mirth in
his eyes undeniable.
“Women
do what?” I asked confused.
“Men
go and master their domain when they’re frustrated and women go for
walks?” Zac said the laughter
literally spilling out of him.
“Go
to hell, Hanson.” I said
pulling the door open with way too much force causing the handle to slam
against the wall. I stepped out
into the dark and quiet hallway and realized, I had nowhere to go. I turned toward the end of the hallway where the light
of the moon was filtering through, leaving a softly lit patch on the floor.
I finished doing up my jeans as I walked over to window, I looked out
over the shining city spread in front of me.
What
was it about Taylor Hanson that so drove me crazy? But, that really was the eternal question.
I loved him so much and so essentially, I just couldn’t imagine life
without him and yet, I was constantly sabotaging myself.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out the key card for the other
room. I stepped into the room and
listened. I could hear Walker
snoring somewhere not too far away, someone was talking softly in their sleep,
Mac was grinding his teeth. Everyone was asleep.
I pulled the sliding glass door open and stepped out onto the balcony.
It was chilly, so I quickly stepped back into the room and snagged a
blanket off the couch. I settled
onto a lounge chair, loving the feel of the cool moonlight. I looked up at the enormous full moon. The moon looked like it was hanging just beyond the edge of
the balcony. It looked like I
could touch it if I just stood up and stretched.
I sighed deeply, wondering what I was going to do. I snuggled deeper into the blanket listening to the sounds of
the city, the rush of the traffic, the honking horns of the cabs, the deep
boom-boom of passing gangsters. I
felt myself drifting slowly towards sleep, felt the world slowly falling
away…
“Cleo,
scoot over.” Taylor said
pushing on my shoulder. I
didn’t even open my eyes, I just moved over a little, shivering as the cool
air hit me when Taylor lifted the blanket.
Maybe if he just settled next to me and didn’t say anything I could
fall back asleep. “Come here
baby.”
“You’re
warm.” I said, my voice still
thick with sleep. I snuggled
deeper against him. His arms felt
strong around me.
“Yeah,
well, you’re cold.” He said
his voice sounded funny and far away. “Cleo,
can I ask you a question?”
I
lifted my head off his shoulder and looked at him bathed in moonlight.
His eyes shone with the moonlight, but there was something else there.
“Tay, are you okay?”
“I’m
fine.” He said quietly.
“How are you?”
“I’m
good, but you know that.”
“Do
I?” He asked.
“Of
course, you do.” I said
wondering what he was getting at. “Wasn’t
it you that told me you knew everything about me earlier?”
“The
thing is this… I think I have
you figured out and then, boom, I’m reminded that you are a totally
different person than I thought.” Taylor
said quietly. “And it’s at
those moments when I realize that I may know everything about, I may the
minutiae of your daily life, but I have no idea what’s going on inside your
head. I heard the words that come
out of your mouth and I want to believe them and yet…
Why are you so complicated? Why
is love so hard?”
“Taylor,
I’m not complicated.” I said
quietly. I reached up to put my
hand on my cheek and was surprised to feel the moisture there.
“Tay, I’m so sorry…”
“Don’t
be sorry, just be honest.” He
said in a whisper. He smoothed my
hair and kissed me on the crown of the head.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Yes.”
I answered knowing that the tears were coming; they were undeniable at
this time.
“Cleo,
what do you want from me?” Taylor
asked his voice catching slightly.
“I
don’t want anything from you.” I
said shrugging.
“Oh,
yes you do.” He said.
“You have to want something out of this relationship…”
“Well,
tell me what you want from me?” I
said.
“What
I want from you is simple. I just
want love.” He said his hands
moving up and down my arms. “I
just want you to allow me to love you. To
fill your emotional, spiritual and physical needs.”
“You do that.” I said.
“Do
I?” He asked his breath
hitching in his chest again. “Why
do I feel like I’ll never be enough for you?”
“I
hate that you feel that way.” I
said tears finally breaking the barrier of my eyelashes. “I don’t want you to feel like that…”
“But
I do.” He said quietly.
We
laid together in silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts.
I lay there thinking about what I really wanted from him.
What did I want from him?? I
wanted him to fill all the places in my heart that were empty.
I wanted to him to accept me for all my insanity. I wanted him to support me as I figured out where my place in
the universe is. I watched as a
plane moved slowly across the sky, just the barest hint of a flashing light
moving from left to right. I
wondered what journey those people were on.
Where the people in that plane were going?
Were they going to see people that loved them?
How many of them were scurrying home and into the arms of someone they
knew loved them absolutely? Did I
know that Taylor loved me absolutely? Yes,
I did. I knew that there was
almost nothing in the world I could do to change the fact that he loved me.
I knew with a certainty that he adored me, that he loved me, that he
would do anything for me. Why couldn’t I return that love?
“Cleo,
what do you want from me?” Taylor
asked again after about 5 minutes in silence.
“I
just want you to love me and to believe that I love you.”
I said quietly.
“I
do believe you love me, but do you believe it?” He asked, pulling me into tight hug. I breathed deeply the scent that was so essential to him.
“I
do.” I said softly into his
neck.
“And,
I wish you could believe that you are worthy of being loved.”
Taylor said planting another kiss on my forehead.
“I
know,” I said. “I guess what
I really need and want from you is for you to understand me… But since I don’t understand myself, I guess that is asking
a hell of a lot.”
“It
may be.” He said.
I felt my heart drop when he said those words.
I raised my head to look at his face and was so relieved to see a smile
there. “I guess that is what we
all want. We just want someone to
understand who or what we are. But,
you need to understand that I do love you and part of what love is, is the
physical part.”
“Taylor,
about that…” I said shaking my head.
I didn’t know why I’d started this fight in the first place and now
I wanted it over.
“No,
let me finish, please.” He
said. “I think we need to have
a serious discussion about sex.”
“Sex?”
I asked my voice louder than I expected.
My voice bounced back at me off the edge of the balcony.
“Do
I not turn you on?” Taylor
asked quietly. “When I touch
you, doesn’t it make your skin burn in ways that just cause your brain to
shut down? Because, the simple
act of you walking in the room makes my hair all over my body stand on end. The smell of you turns me on so much I just want to grab you
and throw you down and ravage you… I
can hardly be in close proximity of you and hide how excited I am.
No one else matters when you are speaking.
It’s all about you. And
now, you cut me off… So, that
leads me to believe that I don’t turn you on.”
“Oh
man, you couldn’t be more wrong.” I
said turning and wrapping my arms around him tightly. As I straddled his lap, he winced. “Ooh, sorry. I
want you to know that this has nothing to do with how much you turn me on,
cause believe me… Taylor, today
when I first saw you talking to the makeup lady, I felt the bottom drop out of
my heart. I felt my stomach flip.
And God help me, when you looked at me, I got wet.
And when you picked me up in your arms, I wanted you to take me there.
I wanted you to make me moan, to scream, to beg…”
“Then
why didn’t you?” He asked,
his hands rubbing my back.
“It
just didn’t seem appropriate.” I
said shrugging and kissing his Adam’s apple as it bobbed. “I mean, I leapt into your arms.
I kissed you as if no one was watching…”
“But,
really, does the appropriateness matter?”
He asked. “I love you,
they know that. I think you love
me and they understand that. Why
doesn’t that matter more than being appropriate?”
“It
does… You knowing how much I
love you is the most important thing in the world.”
I said breathing in his warm, beery scent. “But sex isn’t love…”
“But
it’s a part of love.” He said
moving my hair back over my shoulders. “It’s
where we share our most intimate selves, it’s where we get to show how much
we trust each other. I mean, when
else are we that naked?”
“Well,
when we take showers…”
“Yes,
when we take showers.” He said
wrapping his arms around me. “I
don’t want to sound selfish, but I want you.
I want you to need me.”
“Oh
God, do I need you?” I
whispered nuzzling his earlobe. “I
love the look you get on your face as you concentrate on me, on pleasing me…
Want to go take a shower?”
“Actually,
I would love to, but the twig and berries are not up to any fun and games
tonight.” He winced again.
“I’m
so sorry.” I said smiling,
leaning forward and nipping playfully at his chin.
“Hey, if you’re not up to it, what was that in the bathroom?”
“That
was sweet, sweet revenge.” He
said a giggle (an actual giggle) escaped him.
“You
are a naughty, naughty boy.” I
said loving the feel of him surrounding me.
Pressed chest to chest with his arms around me, I was safe.
This was safe.
“I
am. I really, really am.”
He said sighing into my hair. He
shivered slightly. “Maybe we
should go in? I think Ike is
planning on sleeping in your room with Emory, how bout you sleep in my room
with Zac and I?”
“You
know, I would, but I think your mom wouldn’t be very happy.”
This time it was my time to sigh.
It was definitely nippy, but both of us just wanted to sit and enjoy
the warmth and scent of each other. “So,
are we good?”
“We
were never not good.” Taylor
said wrapping the blanket even more tightly around us. “I just need you to understand that even though the
physical act of love isn’t everything or the only thing…
It is something. And if
you really feel strongly that we need to not do it, than I will respect
that.”
“Hmm…
maybe I can see about getting us alone sometime this weekend.”
“That
would be nice.” He said.
“And even if nothing else, we’ll be home soon and I’m sure we can
find time together alone.”
“I’m
sure.” I said snuggling against
him, totally loving the feel of his breathing.
Soon, he began to hum softly, just under his breath.
The soft vibrations of his chest as he hummed were lulling me to sleep.
I felt myself getting heavy with sleep.
I noticed that his humming had longer and longer stops in it.
And soon, we were both fast asleep.
I
awoke sometime later aware that it was super cold. When I moved, I realized that Taylor was already awake and
watching me sleep. “You know
how beautiful you look when you sleep?”
“Yeah,
that puddle of drool on your shirt is just gorgeous.” I said shivering. “You
know, as much as I am enjoying our extreme closeness, I am freezing.”
“Okay,
let’s go inside.” Taylor said
shivering himself as I stood up and took all my warmth with me. “Holy shit, it’s cold.
Hey, sexy, give me a kiss.”
I
slowly pulled the door to the suite open as I kissed him, loving the way his
warm lips covered mine. I turned
to step into the room only to stop. I
put my hand on his chest to stop him and placed my fingers over my lips.
Taylor stepped in behind me and stopped as well.
From the couch, there was a distinct rustling and heavy breathing.
I looked at Taylor and shrugged. Why
would Emory and Ike be making out in the living room?
“Oh,
Zac…” A breathy voice moaned almost silently.
“Shh…”
Zac shushed. “We don’t want
to wake anyone up, especially Cleo and Taylor…”
Taylor
and I looked at each other and both clapped our hands over our mouths.
He grabbed my arm and pulled me back through the doorway before we gave
ourselves away. He pulled me as
far as away from the door as he could get before he started talking.
“Okay, Zac is either in there making out with someone he’s related
to and blech… Or, he is making
out with Loveboat.”
“No
way, not possible.” I said
shaking my head. “They can
hardly stand to look at each other let alone kiss one another.”
“I
would lay money on the fact when we go back in there and flip on the lights,
Zac will be on Loveboat.” He
whispered. He grabbed my hand and
dragged me back into the suite. We
stopped just inside the door listening to the grunts and groans coming from
the couch. I noticed that there
was an almost perfect reflection of Zac and Anne in the television.
I watched as their bodies moved frantically.
Zac’s hand kept trying to snake up into Anne’s shirt.
Taylor and I looked at each other trying desperately not to laugh.
“Zac,
stop…” Anne said between what sounded like very passionate kisses.
“”Please.”
Zac begged, his large hand snaking under the tight t-shirt again.
“No,
my shirt will not be coming off.” Anne
said quietly, pushing firmly on his chest.
“Fine,”
Zac said kissing her along her jaw, stopping to suck on her earlobe.
“But… but wouldn’t this be so much easier…”
“What
do you think is going to happen?” She
asked through a sigh, her fingers wrapping through his thick blonde hair.
“Oh,
just shut up and kiss me.” Zac
said as a heavy silence filled the room, a silence thick with the non-sounds
of kissing.
“At
least we’ve found something you’re good at Hanson.” Anne said around a mouthful of Zac.
"Don’t
you even shut up while kissing?” Zac
asked
We
moved along the back of the couch silently, moving towards the lamp at the end
of the couch. I looked down on
the mass of Zac and Anne writhing on the couch.
Another soft sighing moan escaped from one of those undulating bodies.
Taylor squeezed my hand and when I looked at him, he held up first one,
then two, then three fingers before flipping on the light.
“Hello, Zac!”
“Holy
shit!” Zac said flipping off
the couch and whacking his head on the coffee table.
“Where the hell did you two come from?”
“From
the balcony, where we were sleeping…” Taylor said laughing.
“Well,
what were you doing out there?” Zac
said standing up, rubbing the back of his head.
“We
were talking, what were you two doing in here?” I asked smiling sweetly.
“N…nothing.”
Anne stammered her cheeks blazing a red that even Taylor had to envy.
I literally could feel the heat coming off of her face.
“Didn’t
sound like nothing…” Taylor said. “Did
it Cleo?”
“No,
it definitely didn’t sound like nothing.”
I agree shrugging my shoulders. “But
hey, you know if you want to say nothing was going on…”
Finally, the two of us couldn’t hold it in any longer.
We both began to howl with laughter.
It actually hurt I was laughing so hard.
“Jesus,
would you too shut up!” Zac
said shushing us. “Do you want
to wake up Mom?”
“I
don’t think you need to worry about your mother.” Walker said stumbling out of his and Diana’s room.
He had on a very old and worn out pair of sweats and a tattered Hanson
t-shirt. “Dang, you guys smell
like a brewery!!”
“What?”
Taylor, Zac and I all asked at the same moment.
“Shoot,
you are so easy!” Walker said
grabbing some glasses and filling them with water.
He handed one to me, one to Taylor and one to Zac.
“You three had better get some water in you or you’ll be hung over
tomorrow morning.”
“What
are you talking about?” Zac
asked.
“Son,
you guys have been drinking. It’s
obvious.” Walker answered
filling another glass with water and taking a huge swig of water.
“But don’t worry, I won’t tell your mother…”
“Why
didn’t you get a glass of water for Anne?”
Zac demanded.
“Cause,
she is obviously too smart to be drinking cheap beer in a ratty bowling
alley.” Walker said ruffling
Zac’s hair. He put his arm
around his son and hugged him tight. “Although,
I am now questioning her smarts since she has been making out with you.”
“Dad,
there was nothing going on.” Zac
said his eyes getting enormous.
“Of course, there was.” Walker said trying desperately not to laugh. “There is no way that as much hate as you profess to harbor for her couldn’t be accompanied by just as much love…”