You may be a teenie...
1. If you own stock in Teen and Superteen magazines.
2. If you own any of these nail polish colors: Ice Blue Isaac, Tuiti’ Fruiti’ Taylor or Zig Zag Zac.
3. If you saved money for months just to get a bus ticket and cab fare to Tulsa for a drive-by viewing of their home.
4. If you major in Education in college just so you can home-school your children when the time comes.
5. If you have I love Taylor, Isaac or Zac written on any part of your body right now.
5b. Worse yet, if you have I love Taylor, Isaac or Zac TATTOOED anywhere on your body.
6. If you buy CKBe and spray it liberally around your room as an air freshener.
7. If you suddenly love the names Jessica, Avery, Mackenzie or Zoe just because Mr. and Mrs. Hanson liked them.
8. If you grow your hair down to your ankles just because Mrs. Hanson does.
9. If your elderly neighbors can recite all the lyrics to MoN without the help of their hearing aids.
10. If you can recite the lines to Star Wars, complete with two cinnamon buns on your ears for effect, just because you heard it was Hanson’s favorite movie.
11. If you would actually consider calling our brother Chewbacca (whether the name fits or not) just because it is rumored that Taylor and Zac use that nickname for Isaac.
12. If you don’t freak when your brother’s action figures are all over the floor. You merely smile at them and think that, "Zac could be playing with the same Army man right now."
13. If you have ever bribed a doorman in a hotel to get in.
14. If you have the phone number of the record store programmed into your speed dial in hopes of getting the first imported Hanson CD in the U.S.
15. If you have ever signed a petition for Taylor NOT to cut his hair.
16. If you lost sleep at night worrying about whether or not Hanson would be at the New Years Rockin’ Eve.
17. If your friends know you as, "that Mmmbop chick/dude"
18. If you would ever use this line to describe Isaac, "a blond haired, brown-eyed bundle of boy joy."
19. If you got caught up in the ET/Girlfriend scandal.
20. If you use these abbreviations in everyday typing: cuz, W'§up?, 4-eva, wazzup, wuz, r, iz, u, 4, 2, etc.
21. If you have any articles that are from the Hanson family’s house-i.e. grass, rocks, flowers.
22. If you are on a first name basis with their trashmen.
23. If you watch Oklahoma! to get a feel for the culture.
24. If you can keep up with the tape of TT&MoN by heart with the tape playing and the T.V. on mute.
25. If you have more than your state’s share of Eggo waffles in your freezer.
26. If you ever considered lobbying before Congress to make May 6-Hanson Day a national holiday.
27. If your collection of Hanson video tapes outnumbers the family’s collection of Disney films.
28. If your parents thought that the "bubble helmet" on Conan was a good idea and wanted to order it.
29. If your house nearly burned to the ground due to the flammability of your homemade Hanson nightlight.
30. If you ripped the shirt off a man because he stood five feet away from Hanson.
31. If you had no voice for three weeks after the Hanson concert due to the screaming.
32. If you have ever started a debate over who is taller-Isaac or Taylor.
33. If you spent an afternoon watching Oprah over and over trying to find Taylor’s tail.
34. If you carry the Hanson boxed set (books) in your backpack so you can have Ike, Tay, and Zac with you everywhere you go.
35. If you make the orthodontist give you braces in alternating colors, red, blue, green so that your teeth can remind you of Hanson.
36. If everything you see, or hear, relates back to Hanson-including the teacher’s lectures and boss’s pep talks.
37. If you break your neck rollerblading because, well, if Hanson does it so do you.
38. If you save all your money just to shop at the Gap because you heard that's where Hanson shops.
39. If you are constantly drinking milk and insist that your family calls it MMMilk because of their milk mustache ad.
40. If you searched Tulsa for the peach tree that Isaac fell out of and insist on recreating Taylor’s date with the cement via his bicycle.
41. If your locker could be mistaken for the Hanson family's photo album
42. If your DJ automatically counts your vote for Weird on the nightly countdown.
43. If you eat neopolitan ice cream to get a taste of Zac's, Isaac's, and Taylor's favorite flavor.
44. If your mailman noticed that you changed the Hanson wallpaper on your computer.
45. If the Hanson hotline number is part of the Friends and Family on your phone bill.
46. If you have a credit card solely for the purpose of buying Hanson concert tickets.
47. If your screen name is anything like Tayschick, Ikesbabe, or Zacsdream.
48. If you and your family could survive for a year on just the number of Pop-tarts that are in your cabinet.
49. If MTV has a lock on your phone number because you have called just too many times requesting Weird.
50. If you drive two hours to get a tape with twenty seconds of Hanson air time.
If when Mr. Hanson walks by you with his videocamera he starts a conversation with, Hey {your name here} how are you today?"
If you racked up more frequent flyer miles than the band during the Albertane Tour...
If you yelled at your TV because you felt the Pop-Up video version of Weird was negative...
If you have ever watched either RTA or TT&MoN with your finger on the slow motion button...
If you watched Buddy Faro before Hanson was on it to "get a feel for the show"...
If you left a teary voice mail message to Isaac when he cut his hair...
If you flew to LA just to see the A&M studios...
If you got your butt kicked out of hanson.net because of an "indecent screen name"
If you tried to bribe a security guard to get backstage...
Worse yet: If you wore a halter top to try to seduce a security guard to get backstage...
If you started listening to your parents old Grateful Dead records because Hanson might listen to them...
If you cried when you heard Hanson performed at the HORDE festival and you weren't there...
If you have the most "hits" on Hansonline by a wide margin and are proud of that...
If you were a "member" within the first 24 hours that Hanson.net was in service...
Worse yet: If you campaigned to have higher levels of "membership" on hanson.net
If you have ever started a rumor about whether or not Mrs. Hanson is pregnant...
Worse yet: If you care whether Mrs. Hanson is pregnant or not...
If you have ever bid on Hanson's birth certificates on eBay...
If you ever thought a fanfiction story was true...
If you could get Hanson a gold record with the amount of CDs you have...
If you cannot remember the color of your wallpaper due to the amount of Hanson posters on your walls...
If you get angry because there aren't Hanson bed sheets...
If you made your own Hanson pillow using a "do it yourself iron-on" kit
If you used your Hanson temporary tattoos as a design for a real tattoo...
If MOE is considered a coffeetable book in your house...
Or: If MOE is considered heavy reading in your house...
If you shop at Delia's because the clothes remind you of the guys...
If you and your two best friends have gone as Hanson for more than one Halloween in the last three years...
If you think that you may be on Hanson's "scariest fans" list...and are happy about it
If your email address is permanently blocked by AOL for writing too many emails to Mmmbop@aol...
If you got caught by George Lucas for sneaking onto his Skywalker Ranch during the Star Wars showing...
If you rented the "Godfather" series just because Hanson said they liked it...
If you practice an Oklahoma accent just to make Hanson feel more at home when you meet them...
If you ever considered taking a job as a hotel maid just to get closer to the guys...
If you sent your resume to the MOE headquarters...
If you convinced your dying grandparent to include "With you in your dreams" at their funeral...
If your parents notice the change in vocal arrangement during LFA...
If you started a petition against MTV because Hanson didn't win in the Celebrity Deathmatch...
If you stalk George Lucas to ask him to cast Zac as Anakin Skywalker...
If you boycott Weird Al because he spoke out against Hanson...
If you own Good Will Hunting just because Gus Van Zant directed it...
If you have at any time thought of asking your family to move to Tulsa...
If you bought an Italian dictionary in order to translate what the Italian DJ in TT&MoN is saying...
If you joined the debate team just so you could argue for Hanson better...
If you boycotted the Grammys last year because Hanson didn't win in '98
If you have ever snubbed a girl because she met Hanson and you didn't...
If you visited Hanson, Massachusetts...
If you have ever called someone because their last name was Hanson
if you have ever called someone and thought you dialed hanson by mistake
If you have ever left a message on the hotline mailbox and got cut off because it was too long...
If the newsstand puts aside magazines with Hanson in them for you...
If you've wasted your whole allowance/paycheck on backissues of Bop, Teen Beat or Tiger Beat...