Amanda’s
Christmas Dos and Don’ts
DON'T drink eggnog. It's never a good idea.
DO keep all animals away from the Christmas tree. Animals and metallic tinsel are not a good mix.
DON'T stress over the gift you have to buy for your co-worker. It’s only a gift after all…::snicker::
DO shop early…unless you’re a glutton for punishment.
DON'T fight over parking spaces. Curse the person under your breath and hope their shopping bags rip open while they’re standing over a big puddle.
DO donate to charity.
DON’T snicker at the children sitting on Santa’s lap at the mall. Remember in the bottom of a drawer somewhere is a picture of you with the jolly guy…and I bet you’ve got a really bad hairstyle in that picture too.
DO sing along to Christmas carols. You know them; we know you know them, just sing along and get in the spirit.
DON'T sing along when you have had alcohol. Slurring the words to Deck the Halls is never pretty.
DO accept that fact that singing “Jingle Bells Batman smells” was only funny in the fourth grade. It’s time to move on.
DON’T use real candles on the Christmas tree. While it makes for interesting conversation, it also adds a whole new degree of difficulty.
DO review the lyrics to “The Twelve Days of Christmas” in advance. It shows you think ahead.
DON’T offer to organize the office Christmas grab/Yankee swap/Secret Santa. It will undoubtedly lead to alcoholism, hair loss, drug addiction, loss of sleep, nervous twitching, and/or panic attacks.
DO break out the old White Christmas video. It’s fun for all and if not, you can always throw popcorn at the television to see if you can hit Bing Crosby between the eyes.
DON’T countdown the days until Christmas to anyone other than children. Adults can read calendars; they do not need to be reminded of how many “shopping days” are left.
DO get a real tree. No matter how “real” you think the fake one looks, people know and they publicly mock you for it.
DON’T try any intricate spins or jumps at the skating rink, having to use crutches at Christmas sucks.
DO take advantage of the fact that this is the only time of year where green and red match.
DON’T stand under the mistletoe for more than a few seconds at a time. It makes you look desperate.
DO restrain from wearing any clothing that lights up or blinks. It embarrasses all of those around you.
DON’T forget that candy canes taste good and make your breath smell minty fresh!
DO go to church. It’s a quick way of showing God you care.
DON’T forget to look before making snow angels. Yellow snow is no one’s friend.
DON’T harass the cashiers. We have all worked retail at once in our lives.
DO attend a performance of The Nutcracker. It’s not like you don’t know the music.
DON’T try too hard to decorate the tree the way you like it. You know your mother/wife/significant other is going to go and change it all around anyway.
DO eat plenty of delicious Christmas cookies. Calories don't count at Christmas.
DON'T mix colored Christmas lights and white Christmas lights. It's not pretty no matter what you think and ditto for the solid color lights and blinking lights.
DO have that second piece of pie. You know you want it.
DON’T put your tongue on cold metal no matter how enticing you think it is.
DO keep your receipts. There’s always that one relative who never likes what you bought them.
DON’T put the fruitcake out for the birds. They don’t deserve torture like that.
DO remember
to wish your friends and family a Merry Christmas!!!
Merry Christmas!!
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